No Faith

"Look at me blake dont turn around" Grabbing him by the arm an flinging him  for him to look at me"

"Fai-"

"Blake dont bullshit me! Tell me! Look into my eyes and say you did not"

"Faith! i swear, i promise to you she seduced me, it was her fault! She made me drink! And next thing i know it we are in bed naked together the  next -'

Looking into his eyes, almost in tears, but something behind it seems to all be a lie.

"And now you are a baby daddy, some person you are. Little muthe-" Not letting a tear drop from my face, i walked closer towards him, almost for are nose to touch...and slapped him.

" What the hell?!"

"We are over".

"Faith ! Wait I..I love you! We just cant end things like this right now! How many things we been thru! i was there when you were at the lowest and the highest"

"Well arent you such a darling, now your a wasted memory. Take care of your little whore of  baby momma"

Slamming my car toward, leaving the park and at a full speed, music blasting. Heading towards a place i knew i could clear my head.

Pulling up towards the cemetary. Getting out of my car, you can do this, dont worry.

Walking the same path i have been walkig for years..Finding his tomb.

"Jacob (1997-2012) Loving Friend, Son, And Father. "

Tears filling up my eyes. Barely even see his name. Running my hands across his name..Sitting down beside his tomb.

"Hey...Im sorry, Im sorry i havent come to visit you, im sorry i..i havent thought about you, im sorry! Im sorry.."

Laying down. Crying so hard that i dont even think ill have tears for the next few years again.

"it was my fault, everything was my fault. I shouldnt have gotten into another realtionship. you probably hate me right now. But hey it didnt work out...haha.." Smiling to my self. "He got a girl pregnant, cant you believe that? When me and him were going out for a year. A YEAR. He probably cheated on me so many times already..I shouldnt get into another relationship..Only if you were here. Only if you were by my side. With me. I miss you everyday. Every mother fucking day. I miss your green eyes, that laugh..4 Years ago..its been 4 years. 4 terrible years. Without you. "

Getting up from the grass, leaning towards the tomb, kissed his name and wiped my pants and walk away.

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RIIING. RIING. RIIIIIIING. WHEN YOU LOV-

Aw hell Nah. Love my ass. Slamming down my alarm clock. Barely opening up my eyes from all the dry tears. I hate crying. I hate being sad...Dragging my self out of bed to get ready for school. Grabbing my usual clothes, jeans and a big sweater and my old run out vans, like seriously there is no point of dressing up for school, Zac Efron is not going to be there, so why look nice? haha. Grabbing my Clothes heading towards the bathroom, flipping the light on...WHAT THE HELL?!?! Oh wait that’s my face. 'Hi their pretty lady' throwing a kiss towards my reflection. 

Looking into the mirror...Brown Light Hair Long enough to be a horsess tail. My Big bright brown eyes..My not so skinny body..But not fat either. Barely standing at 5'6.  "Yup that’s me, Beautiful" Confidence is the key! Yelling inside my head. Turning on the shower and getting in. “Wiggle Wiggly Wiggle, You got booty like a Pillow!" Singing out loud in the shower. Then all of a sudden I stopped. Stopped smiling and laughing and singing when I realized I was going to be late for school. Getting out the shower, quickly putting on my clothes. putting my hair in a bun. And ran down stairs. Stopping in front of the kitchen and starring at the most beautiful little boy to human kind...Going up to him messing up his hair, and kissing his forehead, " Bye my little bro, Have fun at school "

"Your late faith."

"Sorry mom! Won’t happen again! Love you dad!" Running towards my car, putting in the keys and speed down to what I call... Hell.

Walking in to school thinking so many simple thoughts

School. People.

Eyes. People. Teachers. Water fountain. Then I realized everyone was staring at me...but Damn.  Starring around, everyone’s eyes on me. Does drama really go around that fast? Dang.

"Look whose here, how could she dump him?'

"What a bitch, why couldn’t she just deal with it?'

"What a-

Fuck this shit. Getting my headphones out-

 Are you serious?

My two EX best friends walking hand in hand. Looking at me and looked away really quick

What great friends...After everything we’ve been thru, they left me to be together.

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Walking in to lunch, looking around for my favorite redhead friend and my other best friends. Smiling, walking towards them. Thinking like today is like every other day

"Hey guys, so I know school barely started but I just already can’t wait till summer starts again. I have all these plans set out for us fou-

"Faith we need to talk...’

Looking around, what’s going on? Then their faced...showed no emotion...Whats going on...

"Look faith, I just don’t think we should be friends anymore, your well your you."

"Yeah faith...I just dont think we should talk or hang out anymore"

"What the hell? What did I do? We've been friends since the third grade, guys?'

"We want to be together. Me & Ariel...We...we fell in love. I mean you still have hi-

"Do you not bring him up? He is not in this"

"He is your friend faith, he’s our friend. Just understand us okay? We love you, but we are tired of you being rude to us and always calling us names...”

"I understand. Bye fucker number 1 & 2" Standing up, throwing my water bottle at their faces. Realizing what their saying was so freaking stupid. Walking towards the exit sign in the cafeteria. That when I looked back one more time at my old friends, bye Anthony & Ariel."