You were the reason.
The reason I woke up each day.
The reason I could sleep at night.
The reason I could laugh.
The reason I could cry.
The reason I thought I'd always be able to smile.
The reason I thought I could be happy even if only for a while.
The reason I stayed on this earth was because I thought you loved me.
But I turns out, you're just another person who loves toying with me.
And now I wonder if it all was a mistake.
Because now my reason to live has been flushed down the drain.
Now I wonder what it would've been like if I didn't change my mind.
If I decided to do it, to take my own life.
How different peoples lives would've been.
I wonder if then you would've been so keen.
I hate this thought because it brings me back to these thoughts.
The thoughts that I'd never be good enough.
The thoughts that I meant to shut off.
To get rid of and kill.
Now I sit here and look at the weapon.
Wondering if I ever will
