Orientation (Book one in the Thelma Berns: My Internship in Hell series)

Tuesday

I arrived at work the next morning forty-five minutes ahead of starting time. Since I had the temporary badge now, I parked in the employee lot and went to the employee entrance. I watched as a woman ahead of me waved their badge in front of a brown plastic box. The box beeped and the door made a clicking sound. She pulled the door open and I tried to follow her inside.

She turned around and confronted me.

"You can't do that," she said.

"Do what?"

"Piggyback. You know the rules."

"Um, actually, I don't. Today is only my second day. I'm an intern."

The woman rolled her eyes. "You've got to badge in. You got a badge, didn't you?"

I nodded and produced the badge.

"Ha. You've got the badge of shame," she said.

I didn't know what to say to that. Having a temporary badge while I waited for my real badge to arrive didn't seem like something I should be ashamed of.

"Um, yeah," I said.

"Well scan it already," she said.

I waved it in front of the brown box. Nothing happened.

"No, scan it."

I pressed it up against the brown box. Still nothing.

She let the door go and held out her hand. "Lemme see."

I gave her the badge. She waved it several times before handing it back to me with her lips pursed so tight she could've been sucking a lemon.

"It don't work. You're gonna have to call security."

She scanned her badge again and pulled open the door. "Now don't follow me in this time, hear?"

I nodded feebly. Maybe the temporary badge didn't work like a regular badge. I didn't know how to contact security and I'd already wasted fifteen minutes of my come-in-early time. I walked around to the front of the building and went up the visitor steps. This time I was prepared for the door to swing open.

"Well good morning, Thelma," Kirk said. He scanned the lot. "I didn't see your car. Glad to see you're back."

This made me wonder if many interns don't return for a second day.

"Yeah," I said, ducking inside. "Of course I'm back. But my badge didn't work on the employee door. So I came around this way." I held out the badge for him to inspect.

"Yup. That's a temporary badge. It doesn't do much. But don't worry. Your real badge will be here in a few days."

"Okay," I said. "I'll see you later."

He saluted as I made my way across the lobby and into the building. I still had twenty minutes before nine, so I marched up to the second floor and, after I'd delivered Tonya's document to her office, I got right down to photographing the copier. Not wanting anyone to know I'd seen the other documents, I carefully stacked them in the printout hopper of the printer. eventually found the model of the machine and I headed back to my cubicle to look up what I could about it.

Ning was settling into her cubicle as I got to my cube.

"Good morning," I said.

She made a sound that might have been a grunt. Or a snort.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She turned to me. Her eyes reminded me of those old cartoons where tired animals propped up their eyelids with toothpicks to stay awake. I recoiled slightly before remembering that she probably would think that was rude. I needn't have worried. She couldn't see me.