A Bunny to Punish (The Bunny Series, Book 1)

Chapter 7: Bunny

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I couldn't focus very well. Harley was at work, and I was stuck in my own head. All I had to do was find the right words to start the review but I just couldn't grasp them. The review could wait so I decided to inspire myself with a glass of wine and piece of chocolate. It relaxed me a bit and focused up my mind. I sat at my desk, flipped over my little snowglobe Harley had gotten me a little while back to perk up my work area and set to writing.

I had wrote many pieces and stories revolving around bdsm so I was familiar with how to describe the experience, but I found it a little difficult to describe the technical aspects of the bench. After writing, backspacing and repeating that for what felt like hours I decided I got as far as I was going to get by myself. I texted James, asking him to come over to help me with what was left. At first he seemed unable to come over, but he ended up agreeing to coming over to assist me in my review when I told him of my predicament.

We ordered a pizza to share once he came over and I showed him what I had so far. He seemed pleased with it but did end up giving me some pointers as to how I could express my opinion on the more technical aspects of his work. I had him read it one more time, in its entirety, before publishing it on my site and sending it out to my social media accounts to get the word out.

James didn't have any clients today or deadlines impending so he stayed for a bit later. I couldn't help but notice he seemed distracted though. My insecurities started screaming at me. I thought he might have not liked my review; after all, I often would let my insecurities get the best of me and would believe them when they told me I was a horrible writer that just wrote about fun topics. I was nervous to ask him what was wrong, for fear that he would give me an answer I was afraid of hearing, but I proceeded anyways.

"James? Is everything ok?" I asked. He seemed to snap out of his trance and focus on me. After a few seconds, seemingly deciding how best to stay what was troubling him, he started to explain what was going on.

"I'm worried that one of my subs is going too far. I don't want to cut him loose. but I fear he's going too far, too fast." He explained.

"Well, I mean I went far, very very fast too so maybe don't go too hard on him." I said. I knew how it felt when initially dabbling into bdsm. It can be so intense that it's hard to read your limits and not toss them aside. For me, it was something that just spoke to me, lured me in and shoved its tendrils into me, never letting me go. It's such a rewarding experience that is about so much more than it first appears that it is so satisfying and it scratches an itch, at least for me, that gives me a sense of relief that nothing else ever could, especially with my master. I couldn't stop pursuing every aspect of it and I sought out every dominant I could to experience everything which did lead me to my Harley and gave me a pain tolerance to make any masochist jealous.

"And that's fine but he's not you. You weren't reckless and you had an idea of what you wanted. I'm afraid but I don't want to send him into a spiral by cutting him loose. You know how much Charlie and I like our subs but I don't know how much longer this can continue. Even Charlie can't get to him. He tried speaking to him, sub to sub, and didn't seem to get anywhere. What should I do?" He asked me, pleading with a desperation I have never seen from him. His eyes were even beginning to water.

"I have no idea James. I'm so sorry." I said. I had no idea what to do but felt like I had to something so I wrapped my arms around him and just let him cry. My sweater was wet from his tears but he did seem to regain himself.

"I know what I have to do. I can't keep him as a sub, not like this. I'm going to set him loose but make sure I keep him close to us so he doesn't spiral. I can't lose another sub. Not after what happened to Jasper." James looked down. I could tell he was trying to hide more tears.

"James. You know that wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known." I got him to look at me and I felt my heart break, seeing his absolute look of shame and guilt covering his face. He needed something to get his mind off of Jasper so I told him to get ready and we went out to the mall and walked around. We stopped by Build-a-Bear and each made a stuffed animal. It got his mind off of everything and even got him to smile. I would call that a success.