Chickens

It's 6 A.M. already? Wow. I hate being woken by these horrid screams every morning, but it's inevitable. My husband's dream was to live on a farm full of beautiful humans to provide breakfast, so here we are. I extend my long, white wings and stretch until they start to cramp. I hop off my tall bed and scramble across the room to the window, facing the farm. Since my husband, C. Little, is awake, I am free to scream at the ugly beings out in the yard until they shut up. The main human, I think we named him Tom, glares at me with his big, ugly eyes and hops off his post. Stupid things. They really are useless, since C doesn't want to use their meat. ¨Humans are friends, not food..." blah, blah, blah. These ¨pets¨ happen to be delicious, and they're even better fresh instead of from the market.

¨Kids, get up!¨ I yell from the bottom of the stairs. No response. Okay, I'll wake you up myself. I lift my small orange feet and aggressively stride up the stairs. I start with my daughter, Amelia Egghart's room. ¨Get up Amelia, you have to go to school!¨ she moans and groans and fights a bit, but eventually sheś up. I turn nonchalantly out of her bedroom and make my way for my sonś room. I opened the door and holy mother of eggs, this room is a disaster! Thereś video games everywhere, nasty socks, and a bowl of mac and cheese that, honestly, I don't even want to know how long itś been in here. How does he live like this? ¨Cluck Norris, get up right now!¨ I demand angrily.

¨Five more minutes...¨ he requests before dozing off once more. This is unacceptable! I march right over to his bed, which is basically barricaded by dirty laundry.

¨Get up right now, young man. This room is a disaster! As soon as you get home you are deep cleaning until your room sparkles!¨ I announce. He ¨ughs¨, but eventually gets out of bed. I cannot believe this madness.

Well, the kids are up, so I might as well get started on breakfast. I hop back down the steps and into the kitchen. I think today I will prepare some nice corn. I obtain a Ziploc bag of corn from the fridge and put it on the stove. Mmm.. it smells so good, I could just get lost in the great fragrance and-- mother clucker! I really did get lost in the sweet corn smell that I leaned on the stove and burnt myself! Ow, that hurts. Itś probably not too bad, Iĺl just put some ice on it later. Oh, here we go again, the kids are bickering upstairs. I better go see whatś happening.

¨Cluck, youŕe such an egghead!" I hear Amelia say when I get upstairs.

¨Amelia, don't call your brother an egghead.¨

¨He took my phone!¨

¨Cluck, give your sister her phone back!¨

¨Well she--¨

¨Enough, enough!¨ I interrupt. ¨The bus will be here in five minutes. Get downstairs and grab some corn and go!¨ They do as theyŕe told, and soon enough, the kids are out the door. I go and put some ice on my wing, and now Iḿ on the couch. I switch on the television and the bright screen flickers on. Soccer. I don't enjoy soccer much, so I surf through until I find my favorite show: The Real Chickenwives of Beverly Hills. Yes, I admit I like The Real Chickenwives; but doesn't everybody? Of course, nobody admits it. It's Americas guilty pleasure.

Anyways, back on the show, Henrietta is yelling at Eggbert because he forgot her half-birthday. Uh-oh, big mistake. Poor Eggbert looks miserable.

¨You should leave her!¨ I yell, stuffing my beak with more corn. This goes on for another hour or so until suddenly, itś five o'clock and I'm watching some show about doctors. Have I really slept this long?!? And where are the kids?? I jump out of my spot hurriedly and yell for Amelia and Cluck. Iḿ frantic and about to call C when they both come down the stairs, confused.

¨Mom, are you alright? You made it seem like we were murdered or something." Amelia says sarcastically.

¨Oh yeah, Iḿ fine. I slept all day and so I didn't realize you came home.¨ I responded, relieved. Amelia told me that they didn't want to wake me, so they just left me alone. Then, she headed back up the stairs to hide in her room again.

The doorbell rang, and when I answered it, there was a delivery for some nice human. Of course, this was from the market and not fresh. Anyways, I cooked it up for dinner, we all ate like a family, and that was the night. What a long day. Itś nice being a chicken, but sometimes I wonder; what if there is some kind of alternate universe where humans and chickens were... switched? Like what if humans inhabited the Earth, and chickens were pets and dinner? Okay, okay, now I'm just freaking myself out. I sure hope thereś not a world like that. And... I'm going to sleep.

THE END