Written by variant
WINTER 2015
Dear Sam,
I know that I have been distant lately; but I have been trying to find myself, and the words to tell you. I'm leaving. It has been a long and bumpy journey to this day, and I think I finally have found the courage to let you know. I've felt this way for a while now, but could never find the right moment to explain how I've been feeling. I guess there is no perfect moment to tell someone that you no longer love them. So, I've started my own Dear John letter instead. In person, I never would have been able to find a way to tell you these words. Your arms, and your lips are two of the things I will miss about you. The ways they brought me to my knees, and they are the reason this is so hard for me.
Sam, I tried. I really did, but I can't sweep our problems under the rug any longer. We have to face them, and move on with our lives. Just not together. I've tried to help you so many times, but for you to go up, you have to bring me down. I can't live that way anymore. I can't be your crutch any longer, because I'm done carrying you, Sam. Our lives were intertwined by fate, but we've drifted apart. You make me feel dead inside, like my heart is frozen. I've become an ice queen, it is the only way I know how to live anymore.
You never let me spread my wings and fly; I've been trapped to this nest for so long, I need to learn how to dream again. I'm so sorry to leave you like this, but I hope you will find someone else to love. We are no good for each other, and it's time we forgot, and remember how to live.
Love always,
Julia
SUMMER 2016
"I moved to L.A. last week, and I have this amazing new apartment." She listened to his breaths as he stopped speaking for a moment. "I still hurt you know. You broke my heart, Julia." She heard him whisper to her through the phone.
"I know." Julia replied sadly. "It was for the best. Look at you now, you're doing great, Sam. Better than ever. You know what? So, am I." Though she wasn't.
Regret posessed her every thought. She could not stop thinking about him. He was even in her dreams.
"Yeah, I'm doing great. This was the best thing that has ever happened to me, Julia. I've never been happier." Though it hurt her to hear those words, they were what she needed. They were closure.
"I'm thrilled that you are doing okay." Silence. Neither of them said a word, until she heard a woman's voice in the distance. He really was doing better than ever, he had already moved on.
"Julia? I've got to go." Without another word the phone dial rang. He hadn't even waited for her reply. Hadn't even waited for her to say goodbye.
