ineffable hatred

ineffable hatred: oneshot

this was all based on a prompt, which is in bold. the first part is kind of cheesy, but anyway, this is my first story on here, so hopefully it's not too bad. all edits are made by me, hopefully it's ok. thanks for reading!

Our eyes meet, and something dangerous sparks. He hates you, I remind myself. "Kiss me again," he says, drunk and foolish. "Kiss me until I'm sick of it." I comply, and brush my hand through his thick brown hair. We are not sober, but we are clear minded, and this is a mistake. I know that, so does he. I am ready to live with the consequences. There are four things you need to know: 1) we met in high school, both of us on different sides of town. 2) we both come from deadbeat families. his more physically abusive, and mine more emotionally. 3) he is the most arrogant, selfish, idiot I have ever met in my life. 4) for some inexplicable reason, I am setting myself up to fall in love with him. We're young, I know that - only 19 years old. I don't know why I'm losing track. I had a plan, a good one. I was going to finish at the top of my class (check.), go to NYU (check, again.), finish college while doing an internship, and then start my life. Truly, really, start my life. I guess the phone call with my mother made this happen. When she told me to stop being such a disappointment, and to be perfect so she has something to brag about to her friends. That's when all hell broke loose. I decided to change my personality. I got rid of my good girl, teacher's pet and innocent little girl side, and became more carefree. I use curse words now, for one, which feels so fucking liberating, I can't even explain it. I'm making my own choices. I am becoming the independent girl who is following her dreams, rather than her mother's. "Didn't think you had it in you to do this, Evans."

"Didn't know you knew how to think, Bennett."

"Touche. What are you doing here, Kate?"

"Spiraling. What are we doing?"

"Having one night. One night without judgement from the rest of the world."

"Sounds persuading." I looked up into his eyes, his big, blue, stupid eyes.

"Oh, trust me, it is." he picked me up and held me in his arms, kissing me senseless against a brick wall in the back of this hole in the wall bar, like they do in the movies. He smelled like cigarettes and mahogany, and in the back of my mind, I never wanted to leave his embrace.

"We are never..." I said breathlessly as I kissed him over and over, "doing this again. Understood?" I was not, absolutely not, going to fall for this... this... imbecile who only cared about himself. I wouldn't allow it. I was smarter than that. I needed someone sensible. However, maybe that's just my mother talking.

"Completely."

My apartment is muggy, as usual. It gets hot in the summer, and as of right now, I can't afford air conditioning if I want heat during the winter. I turn on some fans, and open a couple windows. I tried going for a theme of minimalistic, which worked out well, considering I didn't have a lot of stuff to bring when I moved into the city. I wanted a fresh start; a clean slate, and that's exactly what I got. My father is trying his best to support me without my mom knowing, but since they're constantly trying to act in love around one another, he doesn't want to start anymore fights. It all seems like bullshit to me, but I have myself, and that's always been enough for me. My head is pounding, and I take Advil and drink water before I go to nap. I rest my head against the pillow, and before I have a chance to get under the covers, I'm fast asleep.

The afternoon goes by in a blur, with my best friend, Lexie, coming over to make sure I wasn't dead. "You could've just texted me, ya know." I say as I pour some coffee. My head is still hurting, I've always been a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I have a hangover that reminds me of the time I had a concussion back in ninth grade while playing soccer. Mom was so mad that I had cried while everyone was watching, she said I was an embarrassment to the family; that I should "have thicker skin, Katelyn."