Toxicity

Fire.

Love, as if it were foretold by some ancient ancestors, as if it were forced to come together in some kind of convention of elements. I longed to get covered in it's flames and play some petty games with it's smoke. But, it had consumed me, and I had all the right things to say, yet, somehow all my words had been swallowed by it's vacuum before they even left my lips. My love was ablaze within a ruthless anger and the fire was alive in his oceanic eyes and the only reason I could tell was because they reflected in my own. I was fully aware this was nothing short of a time bomb filled with love fuelled madness, but I guess madness always had his reasons, although he loved so hard, all that was left of me...

Was skin and bone.

I could the smell the alcohol radiating from him as he pulled me down the hallway. He was all I could see, all I could taste and I was digesting him with every ragged breath I took.

"You're hurting my arm!" I whimpered as I tried to claw at his strong hands. He spun me around and I wanted to advert my gaze, I couldn't let myself get caught up in the silent prison that only Jake Atwood could hold me in with those bright eyes of his. I'd be lost, driftwood at sea until he anchored me, pulling me to the sea bed with one swipe. I'd be on my knees with just one look. How could the fine line between love and hate be this blurred?

My back pushed into the rows of steely grey lockers that stood to attention like soldiers down the hallways of Haverville high.

"I haven't even started yet." He said darkly.

My heart was like a dove, trying to escape from its cage, and I only wanted to breath hard, but I somehow kept my lips locked together as my eyes zeroed in on his. I winced as he slammed the arm he still had a hold of into the lockers behind us. My skin tingled with the pain, my eyes lazily looked over his handsome face while each of my hushed breaths drank him in until he coursed through my veins. 

But I was determined, I would never let him see how weak I really was.

"I won't stop until you hate me--"

I choked out a gasp as he winded me with his fist against my stomach. I couldn't breathe I had just about enough air to suffocate myself in this moment.

"Jake." I breathed hoarsely, my head bowed with the force he took from me. But he pushed it back, his palm flat on my forehead as my skull rang. "Its okay." I whispered as I forced my eyes open, I wasn't talking to anybody but myself.

"How?" His voice suddenly rose a few octaves. "How is any of this okay?" He yelled. "I can't--" He suddenly let me go and I started to slide to the floor, I felt like a liquid mass spiralling down a drain as he walked away. "You don't know what it's like, what I--" He turned to me a frenzy in his eyes as he looked at me, weak and crumpled on the floor. "Every time I close my eyes it's all I see-" He yelled, his voice sounded more and more urgent.

"I'm sorry for whatever I've done this time!" I cried out. I breathed sharply as I pushed my hands across the the dirty shiny floor and I tried to stand up as he looked down at me.

"And your—your you—and it's like your breaking me, I can't see anything." His voice wavered as a flock of chocolate hair fell in front of one of his eyes. "I want to hate you I really want to hate you!" He said as he pulled me up by the top of my arm. "Do you hate me?" He whispered as his eyes flickered between each of mine.

"No." I said, barely inaudible between breaths.

I felt a sting across my mouth as my head was suddenly forced to the side; I felt the pain throbbing from my cheek and chin as I rolled my bottom lip into my mouth to taste the blood as I gasped while time caught up with me. I groaned as I felt Jakes fingertips digging into the skin at the top of my arm. I listened to his ragged breaths as I refused to turn my head to him.