A thing called love

chapter 9: the hurting and the healing

My heart aches with sorrow whenever i think of him. it is with great effort i am keeping my mind off him. and even if i do, its just for a while. At times i blame myself for letting him go. i shouldn't have.. is all i can think of. but looking at the bright side, i have a lot of other things to accomplish, and there are a lot of better things that the future has stored for me. but the depressing thought always wins. its in the end, i am left with things that stresses me the most, and things that are not supposed to be thought of.

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him: we need to talk.

me: sure. i'll call you in the evening around five..okay?

him: okay.

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after that phone call, i never got to talk to him again. he was not the guy i thought it would be. he had some how changed. he told me on the phone that he needed some space. he needed some time alone. at first, i felt as though i am over reacting about it, that i am being mad at him for no reason. but as he explained why he said that, my frustration grew minute by minute. he explained to me that he hasn't been able to reply to my messages on time and that he doesn't want me to keep waiting. to my reply, i told him that i'd wait. but then again he said, i don't want you to..i don't want it to be like you are waiting for my reply and then you get mad at me and and stuff, i just want everything to be as good as it is when we return to school, i don't want to be the reason why you are upset, pristy.. please try and understand. By that time, i was so bugged and felt more frustrated than ever. yes, i did overreact, i did not do justice to him by not understanding him, instead i told him that you never understood me. And thats what kills me everytime i think of us. later, i tried to talk to him in school and wanted to sort out things in a proper manner, but i was too late. i'd lost him.

and that's just it. i saw him everyady at school but never talked. he looked happy and i didn' t want him to upset him going near him and piss him off. i knew he would get so annoyed whenever he saw me. i knew he would, whenever i tried to talk to him. it was just.. over now.