A quiet place

3~ Evelyn

Beau. My poor baby. I could've saved him.
My hands were free-

Everything is falling apart.
Lee is really distant with the kids, Regan's isolating and blaming herself for events she couldn't control, and Marcus is lonely and terrified of everything, there isn't anything we can do or say that will get him to leave the house.

This is supposed to be our family. Right now we're acting like a bunch of strangers who're locked together in a house! I wish I could say or do something to help, but I'm honestly so out of ideas and nothing seems to work.

It's been a long 311 days since Beau was killed, and things are getting worse and worse.

Lee only seems to talk to me. Of course he still looks after Marcus and Regan, and helps them, but he never talks to them. Ever. It's kind of scary, Regan doesn't seem bothered because she's always angry at him anyway, but Marcus... He always looks so hurt when Lee ignores him.

Yeah he's reluctant to go out and do what we need him to do, but he's never given us any grief, and he never argues with us. He's done nothing wrong and Lee is acting like he hates him. No offense to Lee, I love him with all my heart, but he's not exactly being the amazing father he normally is at the moment. And now is the time we need him to most.

Where do I even start when it comes to Regan. Ever since the incident she's so different... She never speaks to anyone, she only speaks to Marcus sometimes when he's getting really worked up trying to make her feel better. I feel bad because she ignores him most of the time, and with Lee doing that too, I can tell he's feeling so unloved. So I talk to him as much as possible, but then I think Regan gets jealous. I understand, even though she's the one ignoring us, I do make a lot of effort to make Marcus feel better and I've honestly given up trying to talk to her. It's only her fault, if she keeps making him feel bad I'm gonna have to keep making him feel better. Simple. Maybe when she finally gets off her high horse and says sorry we can all be happy again. I'm not blaming her, of course not, but her talking to all of us would definitely make this easier.

Marcus is a completely different story, he's not ignoring anyone, he's not being stubborn or angry, he's just... him. He doesn't want to go outside, he doesn't want to face the monsters he has nightmares about almost every night. I don't blame him for that, he's only 13 and I'd be the same. But we live in a different world now, and one day he will have to look after himself, and I don't want him to be unable to because he was too scared to learn.

Besides from that, he keeps getting sick, and I'm really worried. Yeah, it's mostly minor colds, or throwing up once (maybe twice) and a temperature but sometimes it's worse, and with supplies running low, soon we aren't going to be able to medicate him. What happens then? Minor illnesses can be deadly in apocalyptic situations like this, and I can't lose him to something as stupid as the flu. I don't understand why it's only him, I mean Regan was never a kid who got ill (much to her demise), and Marcus did have a lot of days off of school throughout the years. That was mostly because of his throat though, he kept getting tonsillitis.

I'm just so worried about everyone and I wish all this would end. I miss my old life. I miss happiness. I miss when Marcus wasn't scared to go outside. I miss when Regan never stopped smiling. I miss Beau.

I miss the old Lee, the man I fell in love with. Where are you babe? I need you, we need you.