✓ IT ALL STARTED WITH A PSYCHO

❝Why Can't I Be With You?❞

"I am not kidding with you this time if you drop one more M n M your going through that car window screen" I huffed as Tom continued to purposefully drop MnM's on the floor while laughing at my clear annoyance. Me and Tom had decided to take a break from the depressing drama with a walk. I know it seems that a long walk solves all your problems, but it doesn't, however it was nice to just get some one on one time with Tom.

"I'll stop on one condition" he stopped walking, making me look back at him with confusion.

"And that condition is?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, like the question I asked had foiled his plans, as he didn't actually have an answer.

"Did your brain just drop dead, hello earth to Tom?" I smirked as I waved my hand frantically in front of him. He 'came too' and looked around for a second, his eyes lighting up at the sight of something in the distance.

"Ok, i'll stop dropping them on the one condition that you climb that tree with me"

"What are you, six?" I giggled as I turned round to see a large oak tree. Tom coughed, making me spin to see him holding the whole bag of treats on its side, ready for them to roll out and onto the floor.

"Fine!" I caved, making Tom smile and put the MnM's into his back pocket. We walked to the tree and little did I know what I was up against. From a distance it looked okay ish to climb, but then when I came to stand next to it I saw how big it really was.

"So when we do get to the top-" I began as I started climbing "What do you want me to do, jump off?" I joked. Tom rolled his eyes, climbing a little faster to get ahead of me and help me up cause I suck at climbing.

"No-" he handed me his palm, taking it with a sigh, he hoist me up and onto a high branch in the small clearing of leaves. "Just thought we could both use some time out time, away from all the crazy shit that's been happening"

"Point taken" I sighed as I dangled my legs down from the side of the tree as Tom had his back rested against the bark. It was peaceful, the sun was hidden behind the clouds and it was admittedly a little grey, but calm with no wind.

Tom scooted over to me, making me jump slightly as I wasn't paying attention. He rested one hand on my hip gently, and another on my stomach. He bit his bottom lip harshly, he looked sad, scared, worried. I didn't know which one to settle on.

"Do you think it's possible?"

"First of all, before you start with the soppy shit, was that night even real? Like, yes is happened, but did you mean anything you said?" I asked, pushing his hand down to rest on the tree branch. He looked a little shocked, like he was mentally questioning why I would even bother asking.

"Why, because we were drunk?"

"Partially, yeah"

"Yes I meant it" he defended himself. I brought his hand back up to rest against my stomach.

"Ok, then did you do sex education in high school?"

"Who hasn't"

"Then for the love of god Tom, you know it's possible."

He took a deep breath, looking away from me and down to the ground. I had to admit, I was going a little harsh on him and it isn't what I intended.

"I don't know what your view is on this, but I think for both of our sakes I can't keep it"

Tom looked back at me sharply and I couldn't read his face. My heart was pounding, ready to explode.

"Why?"

I took his hands in my own, feeling my throat tighten with tears ready to spill. This moment meant a lot and I prayed he was listening close. I wrapped my fingers into his palms, keeping him close to me.

"In truth, we are different people, and the time I have spent with you has been amazing in so many ways. You've made me laugh and you've made me cry. We've made memories and mistakes. But when this time is up and we both have to go back to our normal lives, I think we both know we wont be able to keep this up. We both have shit to deal with and I personally think it would be best for us to go our separate ways when we leave. I'd happily keep him or her if we were tight and together as one, but we've been all over the place and I don't think that having a child is going to pull us any closer together than we are now" I took a deep breath in, feeling slightly awkward for talking for so long.

"So... This is it?"

"No, I don't mean it indefinatly. We can still talk and see each other, but as friends Tom. Not that we're any more than that now"

"Tell me if this means anything to you?"

"What?"

Tom leaned in slowly, wrapping a hand around my waist and pulling my closer. His soft lips sank onto my own for what felt like hours. It was short and sweet and yes it meant a lot.

"Because it means a lot to me"

I couldn't bare to look at him. All I do is mess things up. I'm tearing a part a friendship, a relationship, something important and on the outside it looks like I don't give a shit.

"It will always mean something to me Tom, because deep down inside I am madly in love with you-"

"So why can't I be with you?"

"Because i'm not allowed someone like you Tom.... I'd ruin you.... and we both know it"