I'm sorry I'm just overreacting I'm trying so hard to be ok and i cant i just can't its my birthday my fucking birthday i should feel okay i should be happy with my friends love and the gift i should be happy let me be happy please or just make the pain stop it hurts it hurts so bad i can't hold it in and I'm trying so hard to keep it away from them and assure them it's ok not because i don't want them to worry, because i don't want them o pretend like they care I'm supposed to be happy I'm supposed to be ok I'm 14 why do i feel this bad i haven't gone through too much trauma i haven't been through shit like other people I'm just an overactive 14 year old little bitch that can deal with a mean father or a little lack of love when i had so much more. did i really though? i reached out and tried so fucking hard i broke down in front of them and they still did nothing. they didn't notice the tears or the pain. how can they not notice. or maybe they don't care. maybe they stopped caring because it got to be too much. They didn't like the venting or the showing their love in a supportive way. they didn't. they all say they care but aren't there when i need them most why can't they just be there I'm sorry for whatever I've done wrong I'm sorry i cried too loud or spoke too rudely. I'm sorry for being annoying or being too much I'm just so sorry so just please love me please
