The Coming Out Pact

Clarissa

WARNING mentions of suicide and depression!!!!!!

My story started the same as many of them I was sad I didn't know what was happening I was five when I had my first kiss was with a close friend of mine she and I were only two years apart and she was already in school by the time I got there she didn't think it was cool to hang out with me anymore I didn't know that what we were doing was considered bad in today's society. Later on we would move to an army base with my father who had moved for two years I would spend this time with a boy next-door. We would make out in the spare bedroom not knowing that we were doing anything wrong. For months this happened we were later on caught by his father it's just been a simple peck on the lips we had done anything bad with any of it. Later on my father would move and I would end up with my grandmother with the rest of my family for years we would stay in one place. I would go to school not knowing that it was weird to like both boys and girls I'm slowly grow more depressed with each day my family we just pushed aside not knowing what to do they were accustomed to having someone you depressed. By 13 I had developed a serious depression and anxiety disorder or socially awkward at social Zaidi all my family you're always perfect and I wasn't I didn't know that liking boys and girls was such a bad thing but I didn't just like boys and girls like everyone I didn't care who you were and it was as long as you're a good person. One day I had gotten to do it all I had pills and a razor blade at the ready then I heard a song is faint at first but then I turned up the radio it was Panic! At the Disco it was one of their older songs it was the ballad of Monalisa after I heard that song I got happier for some reason thinking there was someone else out there you who knew my feelings then I started listening to Fall Out Boy days grace breaking Benjamin and I realize that I didn't need to die I just need to find out who I was. This is my story.