The Coming Out Pact

Micheal

                   ⚠Warning⚠Trigger words

My story isn't something you probablyhaven't heard of before. The first time I had a feeling I was gay was in the third grade. A kid in my class had a backpack with a shirtless wrestler on it, but I didn't know who it was nor did I care. All I focused on was that the muscles were alluring that when know one looked I was feeling them.At an age like that you don't really know what that means or how to react so I didn't think much of it, and decided to just go on with my life. It wasn't until middle school that the whole "LGBTQ+" came to me. I started thinking about what I wanted in life, and what I'm attracted to because things like that were becoming important. For awhile I was thinking if I was gay or not because I was attracted to guys but haven't been in a relationship with one to really know for sure. My best friend helped me finally decide that yes I was into guys, and that would be my life but another obstacle was telling my family. I tried once to tell my mom about it but she just told me "No you're not. You just don't know it yet because you never had sex so you can't know for sure yet." But love isn't just all about the bedroom.I wanted to tell my family who I was so they could know what I was born to be. There's where I found out the obstacle might be impossible for the reason being that they never talked positively of gays. They always said that "I hate the whole pride thing" or "Love is a choice, no one cares who you choose to sleep with" I knew there was more to being gay than just sex. It was about love, being with the person that made you feel whole the way straight people or any other sexuality see love. It made it harder to do when they always used words like, fairy, faggot, and queers.I was scared to come out because, what if I did and they don't love me or accept me for who I am? I don't wanna go through this alone, and I sure don't want to be the outcast. This really put me through some depressing times that ruined my self esteem, and my happiness to be who I was meant to be. At times I would actually cry myself to sleep thinking about what would happen because it was never the best thoughts.That's when I met my new best friend and we talked about how we've gone through the same things and this pact we made.