Embrace yourself

Embrace yourself.

I woke up, bleach blonde hair spread on my lilac silk pillow. It was a casual, and cool, Saturday morning... I close my eyes for one last time this morning, and fall back to sleep, carrying on my dream about my guitar and voice, my dream — literally, which was to become an acoustic pop star. 

The crowd cheered, as I took to the stage, and sat on a plain black stool, introducing myself; I waved to everyone, and then explained who I was, and how this was my dream... My dream come true.

Confidently, I pick up the guitar, which was leaning on the side of the microphone stand.

"This song, which I wrote myself, and I am going to sing.. Is called 'Embrace yourself'" I continued, the audience, of thousands of people, cheer and clap.

Pressing my thumb and index finger together, I create my own finger plaque, and strum the first notes, with power... I bring out my voice.

I sing through the lyrics, crowd staring gob-smacked and recording me with their phones and camera's, cheering and clapping along to the beat, and with the last few notes of my guitar and music sheet, I take them into slower stutter's, and finish.

The audience scream and cheer and clap, and I feel the inner happiness of my soul burst out of me, feel the feeling, the best ever feeling that anyone could ever achieve.

But then I woke up, the dream had finished... once again, my hands were clammy, obviously the effects that had came upon me in the dream..

Wow, before was only 9:47, and now it's 11:09.. One of my little brothers been in my room in the meantime and fiddled around with the switches.. I'm going to get them later.

But that's later, and the present which is now, I will spend the time getting ready for the rest of the day.

I slide out of the bed, and stumble out of my room into the hallway, pad across the landing and into the bathroom, nobody had used it this morning, I realized, the tooth brushes were still neatly in the jar, the sink was bone dry, and the mirror was definitely NOT steamed up.

I close the door behind me and turn the lock, turn the knob on the shower to the temperature that I liked and usually used, set out my towel, hair conditioner & shampoo, shower wash, and my razor.

After 5 minutes, waiting for it to heat up, I slowly undress myself out of my pajamas and step into the shower, and then - obviously did the things that you would do in the shower... which you probably wouldn't find interesting.

After 10/15 minutes of the routine, I step out of the shower, dry my body, and then cover my hair in a towel like a turban, I step over to the sink and take my tooth brush, brush my teeth, and then open the bathroom door, peep around the door to make sure nobody's hanging around the stairs or can see me, then make a run for it into my room, slamming the door behind me I take a deep breath and sigh... I don't know why I'm so scared of people seeing me in a towel... probably just because of my anxiety disorder? Or my low self-esteem? Whatever... It doesn't matter, as long as they don't see me naked... I wasn't like this when Mum was around but, ever since she died, and I was the only girl in my house with there being my Dad, 5 brothers, 3 older and 2 younger, me being 15 and still needing a new bra... I can't get the money off Dad because he asks what I need it for and I find it quite ever so awkward to answer... Damn.

With the door closed behind me, I take my dressing gown off the hook and let the towel drop, and then put on the gown and wrap it around me, tying the belt.

I go over to my dressing table, and plug in my hair dryer, then brush my blonde hair and put on some serum, towel dry it slightly and then turn on the ON switch on my hair dryer and blow dry my hair, when it's dry, and it is back in its soft, slightly wavy but layered shoulder-length hair, I turn of my hair dryer and plug in my straighteners and turn them on, and THEN wait for them to heat up and beep.

When they beep, I spray on my heat protecting solution and straighten my hair until its to its usual state, and THEN back comb a few little bits, straighten the bottom of my hair, and then turn those off too.

I go over to my wardrobe and take out a black tank top, black shorts, and from the shoe draw underneath the main wardrobe, I take out a pair of black studded platforms. From the draws next to the wardrobe I take out two bra's... Which one should I wear? The pink and black lace one? Or the yellow one? Either way they were both too small bust so I went with the first one. I take the matching underwear... Black thong, and then drop my dressing gown off me, leaving me bare in front of the mirror, the bedroom door opens slightly, I stare at it.

Just the wind... I thought to myself, I pull on my underwear, nicker first, then my bra, as I clip it onto the lowest clip, it still feels like a push-up bra on the tightest clip, I look at myself in the mirror for a while, still just in my underwear, I must be so lucky, I have this great figure... Wait - what did I just say? Am I... BRAGGING? Ugh.

I carry on posing in the mirror, first seductive, then fierce, sticking my back end out and putting my hands on my knee's, biting my lip, pushing my chest out at times...

Of course... I was just having a laugh, the door open's just slightly more so that I can just about see the hallway, I move toward's the door, hands ready to cover myself.

"Hello?" I call out, and all that was heard is silence. Weird, I thought.

As I look back at the mirror and carry on posing, I catch a glimpse of someone looking into the room, I take in a deep breath to scream. But when I turn around no one is there, I grab the baseball bat from my wardrobe and storm out into the corridor, I wasn't bothered about my barest to minimum item's of clothing, just that I hated the way I was like some bare film star being watched when she has 0 item's of descent clothing on. I see two boys, lurking around Tyler's, my 17 year old older brother's, bedroom doorway. One of them look's up at me, and sniggers, with a dirty smile on his face, not looking at my face, but my body. The other one turns and laughs even more, then my brother and another one of his boy mates comes out of his room to see what the other 2 were staring at, then they all crack up laughing.

GOD. What the HECK have I just done?

My face burns red slightly and I sigh in disgust, glare at them for a second then storm back into my room and slam the door behind me, CRAP.

I grab my clothes and shove them on, then go to my make-up table, put on some make-up and check my legs... Hey. I just realized I had a REALLY good tan!

God, keep on subject! I had just walked out on boys in my UNDERWEAR! I can hear them talking about me behind the wall, talking about my body... Ew.

Then, all out of a sudden, my door bursts open and the boys stare at me laughing, then they stalk off back into the room.

"FFS! STAY OUT YOU BALLS OF SIHT!" I yelled at them

I head crackles of laughter next door, OK. That's it. Tyler's going to get it!

I storm out of my room into his, they all look up still laughing, I run towards him and he stops laughing, I start fighting him getting him on the floor and start punching him, he tries getting me off him but can't, his friend's are chanting behind us and I give him one last punch, I wasn't tired yet - but just bored. I kick him in the leg and them walk calmly out his room.

God. I hate boys sometimes.