Chapter One

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The pound of his firmly clenched fist endlessly struck down against my collapsed body. My heart rapidly thumped against my chest, but my body was numb. My mind was numb.

All I could think about at this moment was how absolutely pathetic I am. Tears rushed down my blood-stained face as my body instinctively cringed with every kick, punch and ear-shattering scream of furious insults.

It's been weeks since my father has beaten me..as far as I could remember. I should have seen this one coming, though, seeing as I disobeyed him yet again. I'd been constantly reminded not to download social media apps onto my phone, such as Instagram and kik, but I had no intentions of ever obeying him when it came to this rule.

I was not willing to let go of the only way of communication I had with someone that meant a lot to me. But of course, I'd never attempt to stress this to my father unless I'd want to get killed.

'Come to think of it...'

"Dakota!" My thoughts were immediately interrupted by another yell from my father, the kind I'd only hear when he had explained something 'important' while I dazed out.

"Huh..?" I looked up in his direction, careful to avoid any eye contact. I may have sounded like a total moron, only saying 'huh' after an hour-long beating but I didn't want to risk making him angrier by shouting back.

He continued to yell at me, his anger never dulling in the slightest.

"Well, don't just sit there like a nice big pile of bloody horse shit! I ain't shovelling you up, so get off your fat ass and get to your room before your mother gets home," I nodded once before he added.

"And don't come downstairs until both your mother and I have given our consent. BOTH OF US, you hear me?!"

'Jesus Christ,' I drowned the rest of my father's harsh words out, as I knew exactly what he'd be rambling on about.

How pathetic I am for being gay, how being gay is a sin, that sinner's deserved to be punished with death, and that he'd kill me with his bare hands when he had the chance.

I rolled my eyes. 'That's a pretty contradicting threat if you ask me, but then again, feel free to kill me.'

I grinned at this and stood up, wiping some of the blood from my nose and onto my jeans.

"Quit your stupid brace-faced grinning and get upstairs!" The insults just seemed to pour out of him like a word vomit.

I scowled, rolled my eyes again and began limping up the stairs.

"FASTER!" He pulled his expensive, leather belt off and before I even processed it, I had bolted up the stairs as fast as my short legs could go. I winced every few steps, the hard leather whipping across my back. I knew for sure that welts and minor gashes had already started to form, but I could barely focus on the physical pain more than how badly I wished my dad would just die. Terrible, yes, but honesty.

Finally, I made it into the somewhat safety of my shared room. My brothers, Koby, Derek, and I had the master bedroom of the house, which made life a little less depressive. A two piece bathroom, walk-in closet, enough floor space to fit our dresser, bunk bed, another bed across the room, a nightstand, 46 inch TV, a piano and space for more was provided to comfort anyone who entered the room.

I climbed the ladder to the top bunk and began to sob, about everything. Mostly about the physical pain and mental trauma endured from my asshole father's beatings, but also because it was times like this that I wished Leo were here.

'"Oh..Leo.." I sighed to myself, letting the pleasant nostalgia take over. Just the thought of him made me wipe my tears and relax a little.

I mentioned earlier that I found someone online that meant a lot to me, and his name was Leo. Sure, he lived hours away and I'd never actually met him before, but I trusted him and loved him. Hell, I still do love him.

'Now, excuse me," I thought to myself and laughed. 'For being a hypocrite but "love" is a strong word, and I know that. It is thrown around way too much. But I'd created a theory.'

'My looooove theory, aha ; ) Alright, prepare yourself for cheesiness;

'You may say you love someone at any age, just as your mother says she loves you. Because you're not going to marry your mother, or friend who isn't interested in your gender, or even One Direction, and you know that. (Sorry hunny). But telling someone that you're IN LOVE with them is a pretty fucking huge deal. So whatever, go ahead and tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them. Just don't say you're "In love" with them unless you're completely, totally, 169% positive and you've thought over it 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times.

(psssshttt, you didn't read all those zeros >:3 - but neither did I. Mutual agreement, we'll say fifty kajillion bajillion million. agreed.)'

'So yes, I do love Leo. He's my best friend, and in a way, my boyfriend. If you could even call it that. I guess some people might've said it's a long distance relationship, but for the most part, I'm made fun of and criticized for having an "internet boyfriend", or even in some cases, a Fake Boyfriend.'

'I refuse to give him up though. I really love him. Sure, we fought(a lot), but that pulls us together. It makes us stronger as a couple, and as friends.'

'Fighting brings out the worst in both of us, but we've also seen each other's best. Our saddest, most excited, most upset, angriest, exhausted, suicidal, happiest, and of course, we bring out each other's kinky side.' I smirked to myself, my eyes fluttering closed.

'I mean hey, we're young teenage boys, filled with hormones and raging testosterone levels, those kind of thoughts are GOING to go through our minds at some point in time.'

With these memories and explanations, I had naturally curled into my usual fetal position and fallen into a deep sleep, my explanations to myself becoming dreams of the past, and eventually, dreams of my future hopes...

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Sep 07, 2014 ⏰

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