Aangan scribbles (Finished)

Love

Scene  Episode :  Jameel's house was fully decorated for his mehndi as well. The stair scene has not taken place yet - this is going to be a pretty dramatic take on the stair scene.

Jameel's pov

Its been a week since Tehmina passed away , she killed herself. I still get over it and in my head I felt guilty thinking about the lives I was about to ruin in my arrogance and selfishness. On one side there was Tehmina who dies for the man she loved and the other side Chammi who loves a man who used her to get what he wanted. Did I hate Chammi , of course not but did I love Chammi the way she loved me I'm not sure either . I still don't know what love means , is it obsession , sacrifice , trust , friendship , compromise or commitment. Would I call the relationship between Amma and Abba based on love or just one sided compromise . But i do no that there is no feelings when it came to Tehmina and which I told my self is understandable that I haven't met her . However , why wasn't I happy , why Chammi's accusing eyes haunt me when I try to sleep and why do I always end up hurting her just because of my confusion .

With all this still going over my head I heard daadi tell bua to help the servants take the decoration off and boil some water so she can have a shower . Suddenly I felt suffocated and wanted to get out of this decourated aangan . As I went up the stairs , I saw Chammi coming down at the same time . We both stopped in our tracks .

"Are you okay" she asked with pity in her eyes.

I don't know what took over me but I was suddenly angry and embarrassed. In that moment I pinned her to wall with my hand around her neck telling her that I never loved even though she didn't even ask me anything about love .

"But I do " she replied with almost a crack in her voice . And this was too much for me and before I knew I pushed her out of way and turned my face to go up the stairs. What happened next is almost like a blurred image in my memory . I heard both bua and Chammi scream and I turned right in the moment to see a tumbling Chammi down the stairs and the bucket of boiling water bua was carrying dropping right out of her hand . I stood there rooted to my spot until an agonising cry took me out my trance and I rushed down. I could hear my heart beat thudding in my ears as I came closer and closer to her. And oh God I wasn't ready for the site that greeted me .

Her leg was pinned underneath her in weird angle and her wrist looked limp , blood pooling under the skin probably from a broken bone when she tried to stop her fall .The water had splashed all over her left side of her face but I think she manged to shield her eyes.I quickly started barking orders at everyone telling Shakeel to get a doctor and bua to get cold water . 

"You'll be fine Chammi , I am here with you " I whispered again and again while squeezing her hand . Bua quickly handed me the cloth and water , as I was dabbing the water of her face  a piece of opaque white skin about the size of my palm came off. The water had blistered her cheek, but was so hot there wasn't time for any fluid to build up – the skin just immediately fell off. I pressed the ice pack against her face and she whimpered.

Shakeel quickly came back with a doctor who asked me to take her to the English hospital quickly and I hesitated for a second but I told my self it was for Chammi doesn't matter if English or Indian hospital .I carried her as gently as I could so I don't do more damage.                                       They said she was lucky that she didn't get any water in her eyes and the wrist could take couple of months to heel and there was more she would need a stick to walk for some time . She stayed there for only 3 days as we didn't have more money to let her stay . In all that Amma asked me to look for money in daadi's room as Chaami probably saved her money for her dowry. I lowered my head and said no too ashamed to admit where the money went . She kept on insisting and I broke down telling her everything about how I manipulated her , broke her trust and even pushed her . She went quite for a minute and took her hand of my head that was running through my hair . She told me that she was not only disappointing but ashamed and asked me if she wasn't a good person , wife or mother or more importantly wasn't worthy of love because she wasn't educated . And there it was a slap from my mother in form of words bring be back to my reality .