Corrupt for Nothing

2

I got home.
She's creeping into my mind, I have this awful pit in my stomach
Somethings wrong
My heart is pounding
I'm listening to Sam Smith on repeat
Is this
No
No
NO!
I... like her
FUCK!
I stuff my face in my pillows and yell at the top of my lungs only a muffled sound that is unable to be heard through the rest of the house escapes my mouth.
I can't like her! I must just be desperate! Only fools can like a whore like her! Only people who don't want affection and only have sexual desires can like her!
I feel out of breath just from thinking.
Am... I.... just having sexual desires?
Am I the real whore?
Why me?
Out of all the people to have to like someone like her why me?!
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?!
Why do I only ever like people who hurt others.
She trapped me
I can't get out
I can't scream
I     don't    choose    who     I      like
damnit

*next morning*

I dragged my feet up and onto the bus, not giving the bus driver any attention, as I fixed my earbuds and shuffled down the aisle looking for my seat. Keith waved me over and I sat down next to him. No eye contact. No talking. Just leave me alone. Please.

"Good morning sleepy head!" He said, pulling out my earbud and messing up my hair with his other hand.

" Mornin'" I said, I didn't look at him as I took my earbud back and adjusted the volume on my phone to drown out as much sound as possible.

I didn't bother to fix my hair, I just through a SnapBack on and stared at the torn seat in front of me. Some poor person had to cut part of another unused seat to cover the hole that was once in front of me.
Can life be like that?
Can I cover up  my flaws with someone's perfections?
If life was like that... it would be boring.

We approached the school and I got out of the bus in a slug like movement. I took my time getting into the school and then to my locker.

I had just ended my marketing class when my teacher pulled me aside

"Can I see you after school?" He said staring at me directly and holding onto my arm.
He was somewhat attractive and I felt pretty intimidated by him. His grip on my arm was strong.

"Sure! May I ask what it's about?" I say. It's the second day of school. What could possibly be wrong?

"I just wanted to get to know my students more personally" He said loosening his grub on my arm and stepping a little closer to me.

"Oh, okay" I say looking up at him almost gulping. I was having a mini heart attack as he looked down on me making me feel ten times smaller than I am.

"Great, see you then" He said letting my arm go and smiling as he put is hands in his pockets, watching me walk out of the room.

HOLY SHIT. I sighed in relief as I started speed walking down the hall trying to take in what just happened.

"Hey! Ms. (Y/LN)!" I heard my teacher's voice call from behind me.

Crap.
I looked behind me to see him running towards me. I stood there wide eyed.

"Here's a late pass. Don't want you to get in any trouble!" He said smiling at me.

"Thanks" I said

Thank god.
That could've gone much worse.

Study hall, shit.
I walked in and didn't see Rein anywhere.
Score!
I couldn't have been happier. I just sat there watching YouTube on my phone while relaxing.
Like is such a pain in the ass but sometimes whenever you need a break, it delivers.

The last bell rang and I said goodbye to my teacher and thanked them for the lesson.
Not that I really felt thankful.
I hesitantly walked to Mr. Destic's room.
What did he mean "get to know students personally."
I walked in and he was sitting at his desk going over our "intro to me" papers.

"Oh, hi Ms. (Y/LN)" He said greeting me with a smirk. I almost fell to the floor from the heat radiating out of his eyes.

"Hi Mr. Destic" I said standing still.

He patted a desk right in front of him signaling for me to sit down.
I placed my backpack on the table next to the desk and sat down avoiding eye contact with him.

"I've looked at your grades from last year. High honor roll student!" He said with a chuckle.

"Haha yeah." I said embrassed,

"That's a pretty big accomplishment he said removing his glasses and fixing his hair.

He was a 26 year old, fresh out of college. This was his first year of teaching and he was pretty chill. He had dark brown hair and eyes that were almost black. One look at him would make any girl faint.

I just laughed nervously and shrugged my shoulders.

"Hey" He said, placing a hand on my wrist. "You should be more proud of yourself!" He said taking that hand back and crossing it with his other.

What the hell is happening?!
Is my teacher
Hitting on me?
WTF???!!!!!!