Blue Letter Night

27. Beth is a problem avoid-er

Mason was passed out the majority of the ride to Timberly Bay, so I sat next to him, earbuds in, eyes fixed on the scenery flashing by. It was a two hour drive, and the whole two hours was filled with beautiful landscapes, wildlife, and stupid people getting too close to the wildlife to take pictures. Mason only woke up once during the entire trip when I nudged him so he would see the family of bears we stopped for.

When we finally did get to the place we would be staying, I practically leaped out of the car to crack my back and stretch my legs. Lisa had arranged for all her guests to stay in a series of cabins just beside the lake Timberly Bay was famous for, as well as the wedding venue. To save space we would be sharing a cabin with the Carter's; it seemed like Macy and Machelle were already eager to spend as much time together as possible— the weekly visits were making them miss each other more than when they hadn't seen each other in months.

I missed my family— Anne especially— the previous three days but at the same time, I was going to miss having an excuse for it to be just Mason and I. We had grown close this past month, but those three days had really solidified our relationship. My feelings swirled in my chest when I remembered our talk in the glass room. It was back to reality now and I was immediately whisked away by Anne to our room. When the room was shut behind us we both said "And?!" In unison.

"And what?" Anne asked.

"What's Lisa's fiancé like? Is the wedding going to happen? Have you seen her dress?" I fired off questions and Anne fired off answers.

"Super sweet. There's still twenty four hours to go. Yes, and it's spectacular as usual," after Anne recapped the events of the past three days she looked to me, "and?"

"...and?" I replied confused. Anne rolled her eyes.

"You and Mason. Spill!"

"There's nothing to spill," I confessed. I wasn't sure if that was entirely true, but then again I wasn't sure I even entirely knew how I felt about Mason.

"Yep, uh huh, sure," she said skeptically.

"Anne, Beth! We're leaving for lunch," Machelle called.

Before Anne could get up from the bed I gave her a quick hug. Anne and I hadn't ever really been apart for that long, it was really hard on the both of us.

"I missed you," she told me.

"I missed you too," I pulled away, "now come on. I'm starving,"

~•~

"That's the fiancé?" I whispered to Anne.

She nodded, "Mark,"

"he looks smart. Lisa's never dated a smart guy before,"

"I know," Anne whispered, "he was able to keep a conversation with Max about quantum physics,"

"Whoa," I mumbled through a mouth full of fries. The rest of the meal was pleasant enough. Anne and I barley shut up enough to eat, but who could blame us? Excitement was in the air. From across the table Mason would catch my eyes and make a ridiculous face at me. And then the meal was over. The food was glorious and I drank enough apple juice for the whole table.

"I'm gonna go to the washroom, I'll meet you guys in the car," Anne nodded her head I wondered to find the washroom. It wasn't hard to find, and it was probably one of the nicest public washrooms I'd ever seen. It would've had a pleasant ambiance if it were for the sobbing coming from one of the stalls. I knew who ever it was had heard me walk in, and I couldn't do nothing, there was someone sobbing alone in a stall.

"H-hello?" I choked out, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine— good," the voice chocked out.

"Lisa?" I asked, "it's Beth. Are you really okay?" And out came a crying Lisa, her mascara ran down her cheeks with an impressive amount of pigment showing on her dark skin.

"Beth— oh god, I don't know what I'm doing,"

"What do you mean? What's wrong?"

"I can't get married," she sobbed.

"Well why not?" It was a simple enough question in other contexts but this was a lady who was supposed to get married the next day. Her future husband was waiting outside for her.

"I- I just can't," she sobbed again. I put my hand on her shoulder to ground her.

"Do you love Mark?" I asked.

"What?"

"Do you love him," I asked again. Lisa nodded.

"Does he treat you well? Are you safe,"

"He treats me better than anyone's ever treated me before,"

"Are you happy?"

"Yes," she breathed out, her sobs were starting to subside and I went into an open stall and got her some toilet paper for her tears.

"Then why the doubts?"

"Do I deserve this," she asked me, "really, do I? Is this going to work out and make me happy, or is it going to go to shit because I'm going to mess it up, or he's going to leave or-? Will running away now make it better in the future?" It was starling how much I saw myself in Lisa's words.

"I'm a self sabotage-er too," I told her, "running away may seem easier but seriously consider if it'll actually make you happy. Sometimes happy is harder, but it sure is better,"

"You know," Lisa sniffled and whipped her nose with the toilet paper I had given her, "You're just as smart as Max," I laughed.

"No one is as smart as Max,"

"Maybe thats true," she told me, "but Max probably couldn't talk a person out of making a dumb decision as well as you can,"

"Well," I chuckled, "I've lived with Anne for eight years and she probably would've been expelled if it weren't for me,"

"Thank you, Beth,"

After my harrowing experience with a fellow problem avoider I marched into Anne and I's room and shut the door behind me. Anne, who was sitting on her bed, gave me a look but I spoke before she could.

"I have a problem," I sat down next to Anne on her bed and shoved my hair, irritated, out of my face.

"What's up?" She sat up straighter. It wasn't everyday I had a problem, in fact, I almost never had a problem I was willing to talk about, so it was rare that Anne got to play the therapist.

"I like Mason," I said decidedly. It wasn't until that moment I was really willing to let myself even think it.

"Like him like him?" Anne asked In excited anticipation.

"Yes. like him like him," my heart was pounding. This was real now, a fact. A bonafide, spoken aloud fact.

"Yes!" she cheered "Five dollars for me and a potential boyfriend for you,"

"But I don't want to feel like this, it's terrible," I thought back to all the times my palms got uncomfortably clammy or the rush of anxiety I got whenever he looked at me for a little too long.

"Aww that's cute, you're really falling for him," Anne said like she clearly was not understanding the horribleness of the situation.

"What?" I asked, almost insulted.

"You always do this when you really like a guy; you do everything to stop. happened with Jeremy J in the seventh grade. happened with Sebastian, and now with Mason, but I'm sure it'll work out better with him then those two,"

"Am I an idiot?" I groaned and flopped on my back on the bed.

"No." Anne had more conviction in her voice than when she asked Machelle for a puppy in the fourth grade, "I promise it'll work out, okay? Besides, he's been flirting with you for like two weeks now. Five bucks says he only dances with you the entire reception,"

"We'll have to dance. I'm a terrible dancer. We'll have to go swimming," I groaned at the thought of spending a day in a betting suit in front of Mason.

Anne laughed, "the universe is cruel is hilarious ways dear Beth,"