The Triangle

Chapter 4

Mom doesn't ask where I was. I should've told her, but I didn't want her asking a thousand questions.

I make myself a cup of coffee and go to the living room. I'm about to turn on the TV and binge watch my favorite shows when the doorbell rings.

I sigh and get up to answer it.

Noelle smiles when she sees me. "Hey, Mel. Sorry to drop in unexpectedly, but I have exciting news that I need to tell you in person!"

I smile. "Come on in." I consider offering her some coffee, but with her energy level it's obvious she doesn't need the caffeine.

We sit on the couch. "What's up, Noelle? Tell me already!" I say. Noelle's excitement in contagious, and I need to hear what the news is before I burst.

Noelle bounces on the couch a little, giddy with excitement. "Get this: Mike asked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I feel my excitement drain out of me. I should've known it was about her boy problems. I was hoping it was about a trip she was planning or something like that,something about us, but for her sake I act excited. "Wow! Really? That's great, N. I'm so happy for you!"

Noelle smiles hugely. "I know, right? What about Lincoln? Anything happening there?"

I smile. "He almost kissed me."

Noelle squeals and throws her arms around me. Her excitement actually feels genuine, which makes me feel even more like a jerk for not caring about her and Mike. But then her expression gets worried. "Does this mean you and Wes broke up?"

I feel sick. I hadn't even thought about me and Wes since lunch, and now reality hit me. I was cheating on him with Lincoln. I'm a bitchy girlfriend. "Um, no, not exactly..."

Noelle goes quiet. "Mel... It isn't fair. If you like Lincoln, you need to let Wes go."

I feel tears in my eyes. "I know..." I whisper. "I'm just not sure if I even like him anymore. I'm going to give it a week okay? And then, if it's not working, I'll break up with him."

Noelle nods. "Okay. But don't play with his feelings! It sucks... trust me, I've been there!"

We both laugh.

Noelle stands. "Well, I should go. My mom told me that there's going to be trouble if I'm not home by dinner."

I nod and smile. Unlike me and Mom, Noelle's family actually eats dinner together. Thinking about how mine used to do that makes me want to throw up. "Bye, N! Good luck on that date!"

Noelle blushes. "Thanks! I'll tell you how it went tomorrow."

I watch her walk away and smile to myself. I go back inside and watch television, but one thing she said keeps ricocheting around my head.

Don't play with his feelings, Don't play with his feelings, Don't play with his feelings...

I shake my head, but the thought won't leave.

___________________________________________________________________

I spend the rest of the night moping around. I'm surprised that Mom doesn't say anything, but she's distracted by the bills on the table. They're piled high, and sometimes I hear her venting to grandma about how unfair this whole situation is.

I don't disagree.

I used to compare our family to a sandwich. Strange, I know, but that's what we were. Mom and Dad were the two fluffy pieces of bread, and in between them I was the ham. Now one piece of bread is gone, and it's just a piece of spoiled meat and a moldy slice of bread. We can't be considered a sandwich without Dad.

I think about Noelle's family. Her life seems perfect: she has two parents who are both alive, and she has a little sister named Amy. I've always wanted a little sister, but never got one.

Most people find this shocking, because Mom's the oldest of three sisters, and Dad was a middle child with two brothers and two sisters. I've asked Mom why they didn't want more kids, and Mom said that it was because I had been the perfect baby, and they didn't want to risk having another one in case if it wasn't as well behaved.

Anyway.

I think again about Noelle's words for the hundredth time that day. Was I really a bad girlfriend just because I went on one measly date with another guy? Wes has cheated on me more then once with multiple girls, so it can't be that bad, right?

Or maybe it can be. Maybe Wes is a bad boyfriend.

I tell myself that's crazy, that Wes loves me. He tells me that pretty much every day, so it has to be true.

I tell myself that I love Wes, too, but it feels like I'm trying to convince myself of this, that I'm not so sure.

I need to know this, because it's one hundred percent true. But if it's true, then why can't I just believe that and stop thinking about it?

Because it's not.

And I know that, even though Wes is still technically my boyfriend, I know now that I love Lincoln more.

I'm stuck in the middle of a love triangle, and there's no easy way out.