Transparency

Chapter 2

"Moira"

I looked up when Lemma spoke my name, unsurprised to find that she was staring at me, her dark eyes wide with concern. I hadn't been paying attention, I realized, and I wondered how long I'd been gazing past the circle of conversation and into the street.

"Are you okay? You've been acting really weird tonight." She said, and I smiled, doing my best to blink away the fog of thought.

Across from me, Misty was watching me, her eyes wide and dewy as they always were, her hands in constant motion around her midsection, tugging on her dress and twisting around her glass. She'd always been honest about the motion, about the fact that she struggled to keep herself from fidgeting, especially in social settings.

"I'm okay." I said to Misty, then I turned my attention to Lemma. She was wearing a white dress with a sheer cutout across her stomach, a nod to translucency and a popular trend at the moment. I pressed a trembling hand over my own mostly sheer dress, trying not to let them know how naked I felt. "I've just had a weird few days. The rain, I think. It puts me in an odd mood."

Lemma nodded, and rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure it's hard being home all day like this. You can't even go for walks when it's like this outside."

I looked past her once more into the dark street where the rain was illuminated by houses and their artificial light. It had been pouring for the past two days, and the streets were so water logged that you could hardly take a step without soaking at least your shoes, even with a protector. I couldn't bring myself to tell Lemma and Misty that I'd been walking every day despite this, or that it was without my protector, so that the cool water soaked me through every day as I watched the opaque house, hoping for a glimpse of whoever had purchased it. It had been two days and still nobody had made an appearance, but I couldn't tell that to Lemma without also admitting that I wanted nothing more than to meet the person who'd selected this house in the hopes that they could offer some clarity or some support or something to help with the constant sensation of nausea that came over me every time I realized just how many secrets I was keeping.

"It just feels sort of lonely" I admitted, then smiled at Lemma, focusing on her face, "being cooped up," I added, feeling a pang of regret at my half-truth.

"At least you have Bee?" Misty suggested, her voice as airy and distant as her gaze. I nodded, smiling in a way that I hoped was encouraging, or at least encouraged, "Yeah, he's a good lap cat. And I've had plenty of time to read."

Lemma laughed, and I felt myself offering a genuine smile, relieved that this was something familiar. The constant jokes about reading went back to before I was choked with my own deception, when I was open about how stir crazy I always felt when I tried to sit still long enough to read.

"So, I heard that you got to see the droids moving in the new neighbor." Misty said, and my smile and gaze both fell.

The champagne in my glass caught the artificial lights and seemed to glitter and I tried desperately to find something in the glint to distract me from the roiling in my head and stomach. "Yeah, I just stayed until the rain started. I didn't even see anything of the actual person, though. I hear they still haven't even moved in, and it's been days."

Neither of them questioned this information, though there was no one I could've heard this from. They trusted me, believing that there was no reason for me to offer a lie.

"Maybe they backed out. They had to realize how opaque it really is." Lemma laughed.

I wanted to laugh along, but all I could manage was a strangled smile. Luckily, nobody seemed to notice, and I was saved by the arrival of the host. He swept into our little circle, bearing a champagne flute in one hand and a remote in the other.