The dark side

Help me...

Help.... please

Ever since I was young, at night, that's all I have been screaming, I would call for help, all I need is to be locked up, then no one would be hurt.
I would wake up sweat dripping from my hair.
The voice is still there, still pestering and pestering 'kill, kill.... I need more.... feed my urge..... do it' it's in my head I keep it at bay, well for a little while.
I want it to go away.
Sometimes I grow too weak... and the thing it... takes over me. My arms grow tired and I give up my will power to.... stay in control.
When I'm in this state of mind I do horrible things, really horrible things, things that even the worst serial killer wouldn't dream of, yet I am the worst serial killer. It's like I have no emotion, no care for what I do or what the consequences are, but I never get caught. I want to be caught. I don't want people to go through what I put them through. It's unbearable.

I am still there when I do these things, in the half of my body that it can't get to. I want to do something, I want to stop it... but it's just too strong. I see everything...... things a young student shouldn't see, even if I'm the one committing the sin, I'm still a victim.

I killed my mother. She was everything to me, I loved her with my heart and soul, I couldn't be happier to be her child, yet it doesn't care about my feelings. I watched her as my blade was dragged down her torso, how it then split her stomach at the bottom..... I watched as my own hands ripped out her organs scattering them on the floor and she was there screaming in agony thinking she had done something wrong.... 'I'm sorry I'm sorry im so sorry, I love you' She cried, as it complained she was being to noisy and stabbed the blade into her heart. You may think all the guilt I carry it enough to force death upon myself, but the thing is, i don't remember the things I do when I am not in control, all of those dreadful memory's lay dormant in my mind.

I want to get rid of this thing, this thing I like call 'the dark side'