Unprivileged

Chapter 11.

Carrie's POV.

At the mention of my friends and the sight of them coming our direction, Ace's face dramatically changed color. For so many days I have been planning to bring this matter to his attention, plotting in advance what I would say and trying to predict how he would react, but only had collected the courage I needed to get it over with this fine morning, and look, it definitely did not go according to plan. Good job Carrie! You've now completely ruined your best friend's seventeenth birthday whilst trying to fix his social life without even having his permission!

Maybe I should reconsider wanting to become a social worker after all. A failed experimental first-try is sure as hell not an optimistic sign of futuristic success, now is it?

After school, I sit within the circle of my talkative friends, not quite hearing their conversation as I become completely zoned out and consumed by my own thoughts. He is all I can think about. I start chipping at my nails, wondering if he is alright, trying to calculate how much damage I have actually made, and seeing his worried face in front of my eyes repeatedly. At first, when I saw him in the hallway, his face held a smiling expression, and the color his cheeks wore was a sleepy shade of pink. He looked fine, and enthusiastic when he caught me waving at him from the distance. Then, when I asked him if he would like to meet my friends, the corners of his smiling lips dropped down, his eyes narrowed and he grimaced slightly, as if the thought made him sick. The rosy happiness that swept over the apples of his cheeks went white when his face snapped around to see Eric, Kayla, Jody, Dorothy and Chris coming our way, and when he turned around to face me, his eyes were wide. I attempted to explain to him that they were nice and friendly people and that he could trust them being around him but he just could not hear me. He started spitting out fast protests, saying that he had to go. I can swear that his face, right then and there, turned from white to yellow to green. The next thing I remember is that he just ran away, jogging nervously from side to side as he ran into people. He looked as if he were a little deer being chased by a troop of ravenous lions.

"Carrie? Dear God! Hello? Do you even hear me?" Says Dorothy as she clicked her fingers in front of my face, bringing me back to earth.

"Sorry, what?"

"I have been lecturing these idiots for half an hour now and apparently you are so indifferent! You guys are without a use. Why am I even trying?" She scoffs. Oops. Looks like I have been so zoned out that I completely missed out on what was going on in the real world.

"I'm sorry Dodie, I was just a bit.. distracted. What's wrong?"

"I caught these twerps secretly plotting some unrealistic life scenario that they will get some weed and completely wreck themselves in some cheap house party tonight. For God's sake, have some common sense, you idiots! Since when was partying ever a thing for us?" Yells she the way a mum would yell at her children for not doing their homework.

"Really?" I mockingly extend the word as I send a disgraceful stare and nod in disapproval toward the unrealistically-hormonal-and-kind-of-inept group of teenagers I tend to call my friends. Come on, like I didn't have enough going on already!

"Great! Now it's two mums that we have to deal with over here!" Says Eric, clearly bored.

"Well," says Dorothy, "If your skull did have some brains inside of it we wouldn't have to be lecturing you about such a thing, now would we?" She huffs loudly, "Who in the heavens knows what you have got in your heads instead of a well functioning brain?"

"Potato mush, that's what's in there!" I say, and giggle.

"Hahaa!" Says Kayla, annoyed, "Really funny!"

"She's kinda right." Shrugs Chris.

"Finally," says Dorothy, "Someone can speak some sense!"

"Bloody idiot!" Mumbles Eric quietly, only I hear him.

"Which of us are you teaming up with?" Jody asks Chris.

"I'm not in anyone's team, it's just doesn't feel right. Like Dodie said, since when do we like to go to crazy parties?"

"Right?" Says Dorothy, obviously glad to hear him say something rational for once.

"Yeah.." Says Jody, half-way convinced that it's generally a bad idea.

"How about this?" I interfere, "We crash at mine now, order something to eat, preferably some pizza, and watch some movie later on together like the good old days?" I suggest, suddenly feeling nostalgic and homesick to my childhood. When we were about twelve, we used to make exciting plans for after school. We spent so much time together. We would watch adventure movies, bake cookies and gingerbread men, play Monopoly, pretend we were super modals walking down a runway with high heels and horribly aplied red lipstick as the boys (Yes, Chris and Eric, who would've guessed?) would be the photographers who take our pictures.

I would give up everything to have those days back.

"Only if it's a Zombie movie, otherwise I'm out. No sappy romance movies for God's sake!" Smiles Chris.

"Have it your way." I laugh.

"This is absolutely ridiculous! What are you guys? like twelve?" Says Eric as he stands up and dusts the grass off his tight jeans. Kayla stands shortly after him, brushes her silky hair away from her face and says, "Are you coming Jody?"

"I..don't know.." Stutters she, confusedly.

"Right. Give me the spliff." Jody shakily takes out a plastic bag from under her jacket and passes it on to Kayla who in turn snatches it off from her friend's hand and hides it inside of her fancy handbag.

"Wait..Where are you going?" questions Dorothy, all puzzled.

"Have fun making cupcakes, losers." Says Eric with a sick smirk on his face, and soon enough they walk away, leaving us behind in the grass, the word "Losers" still echoing in the air like a roaring thunder storm.

"What just happened?" Says Dorothy, not quite waiting for a literal answer.

"I have no clue." I say.

After what seemed like years of silence and mere shock, we begin to walk home. First one to arrive to his house is Chris.

"Errm..I'll see you guys.. tomorrow.."

"Yeah.." Is all I say. Dodie waves at him with a slight smile.

Then it was Dodie's house around the corner. She kisses both me and Jody on the cheek and walks away, without saying anything. She didn't have the voice to say anything, and honestly neither did we.

A few minutes later we were near Jody's house. She looks at me with eyes brimming under the light. I squeeze her arm gently and continue walking.

It's weird how a day can go from good to bad to absolutely horrible. I woke up this morning feeling brightly ambitious, with the hopes that today would be a very productive day, that I would help Ace gain some friendships, turns out that I lost two myself. Not only that but also have unintentionally ruined his birthday.

I wonder if it's too late for an apology right now?

I find myself standing in front of his front door, nervous and hurt and cold. I stand there. And stand. And stand. A tear sneaks its way down my cheek and I wipe it away with my sleeve. I breathe and hold in a huge mouthful of air before ringing the bell.

(Hey guys. How are we all doing? Good? Good. I know not much people read this thing, and it almost feels pointless for me to be writing this note, but it doesn't hurt. So.. an update? There isn't anything much new at the moment.. U know.. school, exams, night school, homework, pressure, finals, future, universities.. Fun fun fun eh? I just don't know where I'm going with this and it's so pathetic that I find myself laughing at myself most of the time but yeah.. There isn't much stuff to do. I guess I'll leave this here now, who knows when I will be able to write again? All I can do is hope that it's soon. Cheers!)