Ambivalence [H.S]

Chapter 27

"They're very pretty." Mom comments with a cough stepping into the room as I hold up the dress. It's been 3 days since they were given to me. I put it down and pick up the smaller one for Delaney examining them.

"They're gorgeous...but it's too expensive." Mumbling I place both dresses back into the gift wrapped box only for them to be taken out again in a few hours.

"Well so is that dog. Delaney's obsessed with it. You do know what he's doing right?" She questions. I nod watching her take a seat at the edge of the bed. I hear barking from downstairs, Delaney's giggles follow soon after.

"It's how he was raised. I don't think he knows any other way to show affection other than showering me with gifts." I sigh sitting with her. "Remember when Mr. Taylor bought Elizabeth that huge cabin up near the Great Lakes. It was ginormous I think almost the size of this house."

"Oh yes. And when we visited, Reese promised to buy you a house even bigger than it, with your very own lakes named after you and your own boat." She chuckles.

I think back to it remembering how the two of us built a fort in the back yard to keep away from the adults. We would stay out there for hours swimming and climbing trees until it got too cold and his arms weren't enough to keep me warm any more.

"We weren't even out of middle school yet and he was already promising me things that's the funny part." I say smiling at the memory.

"He can't just buy the two of you presents all the time Diana. If that's all he's doing and you really want him back in your life, in Delaney's life, then you need to stop him now. Your affection is not at all worth any expensive item he can give you."

"I know. He knows it too. I asked him not to shower her in gifts anymore. I think the puppy was because he knew I couldn't say no."

"Don't let him-" she starts, I stop her.

"I know mom. Don't worry, she'll be okay." I give her an assuring smile squeezing her hand.

"It's not her I'm worried about. She's strong, just like you. She knows exactly what she wants and I know if she doesn't like what he does she'll defiantly have something to say about it. But I think you aren't in your right mind right now." Her thumb brushes my palm softly. "I think you're stretching yourself too thin. Trying to raise a little girl in your twenties and help me with your brother at the same time, it's a lot."

"You had to grow up too fast but now that you've finally got some stability in your life your father and Reese make a reappearance. Everything's changing so fast. I just want you to know it'll be okay. You'll be okay. But this man will not be the one to decide if you are. No one else but you can decide it. Remember that." I look at the floor instead of her face. Too ashamed to. I'm not strong anymore, I'm losing my mind.

I feel like crying a lot more than usual now and everything's going so wrong since it happened. But I don't tell her this. I don't tell her because I know it'll make her worried when she shouldn't be. So I nod again.

"I know mom. I love you." She kisses my temple. I look up, she wraps her arms around me and I relax into them.

~~~

"So it's a date then?" Ian questions from the doorway.

I shrug. "The past few nights we've gone out with him were just to get Lane comfortable. It's our first public dinner. Just the three of us." I pull down on the hem of the black lace, not liking how short this dress is. It's not something I would usually wear but it was gorgeous. I loved how the sleeves were lace and it flowed throughout the entire dress.

"So where this family date happening? I hope no where too fancy because there's a little princess in a baby pink dress running around the house with a handful of non washable markers." He chuckles, I groan, taking one last glance in the mirror to make sure my makeup is okay then I run out of the room. Ian follows behind.