Red Hood's Apprentice

Of Orange Juice And Comrades

HIYA! Icey5105 here! 

This is based on a thing going on at my house.

My family is weird, but I think you'll get a kick out of the batfam being put in the same situation!

Let's get started!

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It started on a perfectly normal morning. The day had just barely begun, and Alfred- the victim- was completing his morning duties. His cooking was done gracefully as ever. His hands swiftly and adeptly forming breakfast with an ease that only Alfred Pennyworth could muster.

The first witness entered at 5:07 am. He swung around the banister, and quietly padded his way into the room and sat in a chair at the table.

"Good morning, Master Tim." Alfred told him before laying out the meal on the table, "Please wash your hands." 

Tim went to the sink, and started to wash his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the items laid out on the table, "Crepes?" Tim asked, "What's the occasion?"

"Master Jason, and Master Nico will be joining us shortly." Alfred replied.

DING - DONG!

It was then, at 5:13 that the doorbell rang. 

Alfred stood up immediately in response, "That'll be them. Please excuse me while I answer the door." He exited the room, and returned with the next two witnesses at 5:15.

Nico grinned upon seeing Tim, "Tim!" He shouted, and suddenly jumped into Tim's arms. 

Tim laughed at Nico, "Hey, Nee, how you doing?" 

"AMAZING!" Nico grinned, "Jason's going to take me to the zoo!" 

"We're all going." Dick said, leaving no room for argument. 

Jason sighed, "You're paying then." 

"Why?" Dick smirked, "Mcdonald's doesn't pay enough."

"Got that right." Jason said.

"Why are you all abrasively screeching at this absurd hour..." Our next witness entered grumpily, before pausing, "And why are Todd and Di Angelo in our kitchen at said absurd hour?" 

Nico giggled, "Alfred invited us! Oh - and we're going to the zoo!"

That got Damian's attention, "The.... zoo?" 

"Yeah! Are you coming?" 

Damian's lips quirked upward, "I suppose it would be an... intriguing experience." 

"YEAH!" Dick cheered, "See! Even Damian wants to go! We're going!" 

"Where are we going..."

THUD!!!

"Oh my!" 

The final witnesses entered just as it happened. Thalia, Bruce, and the Batboys all ran to see what happened. 

"What was that?" Nico asked, "Alfred...are you okay?" 

"I'm afraid the juice has attacked me. My apologies." Alfred chuckled, picking up the orange juice that had tumbled out of the fridge, and placing it back on the shelf. 

The group shrugged, and thought nothing of it. 

----

"Oh!" Tim shouted, jumping back as the orange juice fell at his feet, "Huh... weird. It attacked me too." 

"More like us." Thalia scoffed. 

----

"Ack!" Dick stared at the orange juice on the floor, "Did it just..." 

"Attack us... yeah." Jason nodded.

-----

"Huh." Bruce said dryly to Damian, picking up the orange juice that had fallen, "Looks like it got us, too..."

----

 A group of staked out behind the counter, peering anxiously at the fridge. They were decked out in vigilante outfits. Dick stared through his binoculars, halfway in the vent. Jason was staring at the fridge out of the corner of his eye while cleaning his gun. Tim was pressed against the counter and crouched in the stereotypical spy position. Damian was leaning against the wall, appearing silent and deadly. Bruce was hidden in the shadows as he brooded. Thalia was sharpening her arrows with a hardened look. Alfred was waiting in the other room until they could complete their mission.

Nico walked into the room, and turned on the light, "What are you guys doing?"

"SHHHH!" Everyone hushed him. 

"We're trying to lull the juice into a false sense of security by making it think it's alone."

"Huh?" 

"We're trying to exploit the orange juice's plan to kill us all." 

Nico blinked, "Why would it do that?" 

"It's a very aggressive juice. We think it might be plotting to take over the world." 

This gained several nods. Nico stared, confused, "I'll leave you guys to it then, but I'm grabbing string cheese." 

"No!" They all watched as Nico proceeded to go into enemy territory as he opened the fridge, "Nico... don't do it!"

SPLAT!

The orange juice fell on the floor, and spilled. The lid had broken after falling so many times. There was silence.... before the Batboys cheered.

"YOU DID IT!" 

"OUR HERO!" 

"AMAZING!"

"SO COOL!" 

Nico blinked a couple times, before shrugging it off with a laugh. His brothers were weird.