Reader,
Why do books start off like that? Addressing you like you're a reading? Like you're actually reading this book? What if you aren't?
What if you're trying to hide the fact that you're on your phone so you picked up the first book you could find and it just happened to be this one.
Or maybe you're taking a nap because you stayed up all night playing Apex and this book is your pillow? These words could be getting drooled on right now.
Yes Amadeus that was a jab at you. Next time try to stay awake when I said we're working on the book.
Sorry you had to read that. I mean, I'm not really all that sorry. Just felt like I needed to put that in there.
Anyway.
This book, regardless of whether you're reading it, holding it up as a protective phone shield, drooling on it, is real.
I don't mean any of that philosophical bullcrap that because you hold it that makes it real or its real in your mind. If that was what you thought I meant, just put down this book and walk away. This book is not for you. I don't want you reading this book.
Are you gone?
Last chance to leave.
Alright. I hope they're gone.
Now the remaining people still holding this book, congrats that means you who just read that sentence, listen up.
When I say this book is real, I mean it. Everything that you are going to read, actually happened.
Why did you just doubt me?
Don't try to deny it. I know you did.
While some things might seem unlikely, everything in the pages to follow, or if you're like Amadeus, everything on the app, every single thing happened.
Which brings me to why I'm wasting my time writing a book. Especially with Amadeus.
He'll introduce himself later, don't worry. Actually, as someone who knows Amadeus, I take that back, you should probably worry.
Anyway.
As some of you may soon find out, not all of you, there are plenty of norms left in this world, things in this book are going to start to happen to you. Just like they happened to me. And Amadeus. (He made me type that in here.)
And when these things happen, things you will soon learn about, you are going to need all the help you can get.
I'm not going to actually help you. I still have to help Amadeus, he'll deny it but its true.
But this book, this will help you.
I'm not exactly sure how it will help.
It might not.
But I wrote it.
With Amadeus' help. (Once again his doing.)
So I guess, good luck to you.
YOU ARE READING
The Okay Guide to Probably Not Dying
Teen FictionAmadeus and Kesley are two people who wrote a book. It's kind of a big book. Everything in it is true. Norms may not believe. They can stop reading. Neither author will care. But those like them, the abnorms, they had better believe, as sooner or la...
