I didn't want to repost my writing, so if you want to read Side A (recommended), you can do so by checking out the chapter titled "restart." in my other book "Ddaeng." (https://www.wattpad.com/593844745-ddaeng-restart-yg).Chapter 2 would probably flow better if you've read both Side A and B, so I suggest you go and read both!
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Suga was his first identity.
He remembers how it all started: he was desperate for money. So desperate he took anything that would give him something to scrape by, even if it's a small piece of mouldy old bread. It was just a matter of time until he stumbled into the underworld's dealings, exposed to the dark world of drug dealings and the easy money you could exchange with his honest life.
One day he was sleeping under bridges, and the next day he was buying his own flat.
It's enjoyable, to say the least, seeing your life changing right under your nose. People actually apologizing when he bumps into them in streets, just because he's wearing decent clothes with rips and holes purposefully made for fashion instead of wear and tear. Parents not minding him when their kids passes by him instead of yelling and trying to usher their children away, because this version of him looks like an honest civilian who's able to keep his hygiene.
He doesn't even realize that his alias became so known, famous enough that people actually found him and tried to make deals with him. It was fortunate that he knew how much of a trash those people could be, and with him being observant coupled with his almost always accurate judgement skill, he managed to manoeuvre through the tricky roads of the underworld's connection points.
D is his favorite codename.
Short and simple and given by the boys after he fully joined the family.
It's the initial he impeccably writes with the blood of his targets when he walks away from his job well done. D is swift and silent when he kills, nearly untraceable seeing as he's away from his victims most of the time. It's the first letter of his hometown, and he finds it meaningful how it's also the identity that signifies the start of his new life with his newfound family.
It is also the persona that made him stumble into your life, despite him wishing it to unfold differently. But you said you were happier with how things turned out, and the reaffirmations calms him, quells his nightmares and helps to erase his self resentment bit by bit.
He just hopes you'll still think the same when you open your eyes.
Min Yoongi however, is fragile.
He's hidden beneath thousands of venomous ice walls and fiery layers of titaniums. He used to think only seven people in the world would have seen this side of him before he dies in cold blood, and he's content in keeping the number low, being in this line of work.
You took longer than the other six to melt and chip away his guards, but you've became the only one who managed to make him feel so much.
Honestly, he's scared of you.
You're doing absolutely nothing, sleeping and silently struggling to stay alive, yet he feels his sanity slipping away as the seconds pass. He wants to see your expression twist in relief and content when you finally open your eyes. He wants to see it turn into anger, because he deserves your displeasure for being your beloved who failed doing his job to protect you from his enemies. His heart just wants you back, so he can selfishly repent for his mistakes and spoil you rotten.
Looking at you like this hurts him so deeply, and yet calms his erratic mind.
He follows your heartbeat to regulate his breathing. The heartbeat machine is his metronome, the way it emits the constant beeps creating a sense of tranquility in his mind as he counts them mutedly. It also indirectly informs him that you're alive and right in front of him, not missing and tied up inside a crude imprisonment cell with people who unleashed their hatred and anger towards him onto you on a daily basis, because they were too much of a coward.
Everything was so still, the tiny movement catches his eyes immediately.
The muscle in your arm twitches .
At first he thinks he's hallucinating out of empty stomach or lack of proper sleep, but then your eyelids started to flutter, and your finger moves ever so slightly.
His heart flips and he grabs your hand tighter, back straightening as he leans in closer to your side. Your eyes slowly open and focuses on him. He's so elated he doesn't see the foreign wonder and confusion on your expression, but he does notice something is amiss when you doesn't respond to his overly excited babbling and loving words.
The fear and hurt starts to weigh his mood southward, and he finally notices the way you're looking at him.
You're looking at him as if he's a stranger.
It takes three mere words from you to break apart what's left of his broken, fragile heart, and you're unforgiving as the syllables left your throat in a hoarse, weak whisper:
