A Dance to Remember

Act 9

"A Dance to Remember"Act 9

Sunday

It was morning. I did not sleep well for anticipation of the coming day. It was all I could think about; I was going to go over to Sara's house, and we would spend the day just the two of us.

Sara.

This girl was so beautiful the sun paid tribute at her feet. She was going to be home alone for the entire evening, and she wanted me to come over. Me. No other friends, no family, no one else to look and see, no one else to watch out for, no custodial staff to walk in on us, just total me and her time.

I had a bowl of granola cereal with raisins and half a grapefruit for breakfast, and I couldn't inhale it fast enough. The only question was how to get over there; she lived about six miles from my house. And maybe that doesn't seem like much to you, but remember I still didn't have a car.

The solution?

I walked. I didn't give a crap, either; I wasn't about to waste time explaining to my mom exactly why I needed her to take me over there, as if it would have been any of her business anyway. My phone said it was going to take me an hour and a half, but who cared? Sara's mom was gone, so that gave us eleven hours of private, uninterrupted play time.

Less curfew.

Screw curfew! What's a year's worth of punishment next to a few more hours of playtime with Sara Temptation? Some things are just worth it.

I walked. Of course you know I thought while I walked, so maybe that was a mistake. I started out thinking about all the nasty things I wanted to do with her. I was going to pin her to her bed, maybe tie her up or something. I was going to feel that perfect little ass in my hips, going to rub my face in her bare legs, anything I desired. I felt the tension sticking out in front of me just going through the possibilities. Oh, what a fun sensation. Oh what a fun line of thinking.

Except what if she didn't want that?

What if the whole idea of her having me over was about caving to my desires rather than anything she actually wanted to do of her own accord? What if that was the basis for our whole relationship and I was just oblivious to how pushy I was? Maybe I put her off with all the unwelcome advances. I loved being with her, sitting and talking and flirting, but I also loved touching her. Wasn't that wrong?

I should have loved something else; I shouldn't have loved that.

Oh, man. Do you remember that time she'd said she was afraid of being alone? That was it, wasn't it? That was us. I gave her all this attention over her body and how pretty she was but in reality she didn't want any of that kind of attention; she wanted companionship. She didn't want some horny boy drooling all over her like I did; she tolerated it because I gave her the illusion of companionship. She picked up on my state of mind, assessed that I wouldn't want to spend time with her sans the sexy play, and gave me what I wanted because she was afraid of being alone. She was acting out of fear, wasn't she? And I was too absorbed in my desires to pick up on any of that.

I was a loathsome animal.

That was the whole point, wasn't it? I needed to learn how to be around girls I was attracted to without acting like an animal, and I acted like an animal every time I saw her.

I stopped walking for a moment to collect myself. I looked to the left and saw into the window of a Chinese restaurant, a happy couple smiling and laughing with their newborn baby as the husband tried in vain to show off how good he was with chopsticks only to drop every other morsel of food.