When was it that Lovino realized that he loved the Spaniard? Not right away, that's for sure. He didn't trust anyone when he was younger, mostly because he thought they all wanted him for his grandfather's money. But the stupid Spaniard was the only one Lovino began to trust. The only one he began to love. It wasn't the love you'd think a child would have for an adult who took care of him. But regardless, Lovino truly loved Antonio. Everything about the Spaniard; how he always smiled, his kindness and loving nature. Lovino loved it all. And soon, he grew up, the feeling never fading and never changing. He had dreams about the older man, each one he wished was real. He'd wake up, disappointed and sad. He was going to tell him. Confess all his feelings.....one day... The Italian was afraid what Antonio would do or say. Though he hoped it would be the warm, bright smile he loved to see. Years passed again and Lovino was older, almost equal height to Antonio. One day, he suddenly got courage to do what he always dreamed about. He called up the Spaniard and with a smile, greeted him.
"Antonio?"
"Hola, Lovino!"
"A-are you busy?"
His voice was uneasy and nervous but he gripped on the courage surge he had that morning.
"Hmm. Nope! I'm free."
"Let's meet at the park at noon. I need to tell you something"
"Huh? Oh Okay."
"BYE!"
He aggressively hung up the phone and flung it at the couch. It bounced on the sofa's surface and Lovino stared at it until it stopped. His face was bright red and he had his fist clenched at his side but after a moment, he fell into a chair. Bubbling laughter erupted from him and he gave a loud sigh of relief. He had done it! But that was only step 1. He still had a long way to go.
When the time was right, Lovino made his way to the park. He was there before Antonio and sat at a bench near the center of the park so the Spaniard would easily see him. All the nerves that he had before spiked up and soon he was fidgeting with worry. A call of his name made him look up. Hearing the familiar voice, he felt slightly relieved. He had come just like he said.
"Lovino!"
Antonio was jogging up to him, a smiled on his face as he shouted the Italian's name. Lovino stood up and waited for the Spaniard to catch up to him. Once he did, Antonio gave a silly smile as he panted lightly.
"Lo siento, did you wait long?"
It was just like the movies. Lovino shook his head, his cheeks flared pink.
"N-no. I just got here."
"Good. Well, what did you need to talk about? Sounded important."
Antonio inquired with a tilt of his head as he straightened up. Lovino couldn't meet those glossy green eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, he kept averting his gaze to everywhere but to the man he loved.
"U-um...uh...."
Antonio was staring at him intensely. He was going to say something, and quick! So much for all that planning, he forgot it all when it got to the real thing.
"I-I.. well.. I-I"
Time to just go with it and get to the point.
"Ti amo! I love you, Antonio!"
Lovino squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of what Antonio would say. But soon the silence dragged on too much for his impatience and he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Antonio's warm smile. A smile just like the one he loved.
"I love you, too."
Tears flooded the Italian's eyes and he stammered out a reply in disbelief.
"R-really?"
"Of course." Lovino wanted to die in this happiness. But the next words that came from the Spaniard's mouth froze him to the spot. "My little henchman."
Looking up, Lovino stared at him.
"What?"
"I've raised you since you were little so of course I love you."
"......"
Antonio's head tilted at Lovino's silence.
"That /is/ what you meant, right?"
Completely speechless, the Italian barely mumbled out a flat response.
"No."
The smile dropped from Antonio's face and blank faced, he thought about Lovino's words again. The sudden flinch of the Spaniard broke Lovino's heart.
"O-oh. You meant.... oh." It was obvious it was awkward for Antonio. "I'm sorry. I love you like a family member... not like..."
Lovino turned away from Antonio. The tears began to spill over, this time they held only sadness.
"Leave. Just fucking leave."
He was met by silence again but this time it was awkward and uneasy.
"I'm sorry, Lovin-"
"GO!"
Lovino listened as the man he loved walked away, the footsteps echoing on the pavement and hitting his heart like daggers. As soon as he couldn't hear the footsteps anymore, he sobbed loudly. 'I should've know. It's disgusting to think of someone who raised like that. DISGUSTING. I shouldn't have said anything. I've screwed everything up and why? Because of love. Fuck love. Never again!' His rotten thoughts were making even more upset. And sure enough, after that, he closed up his heart, turned it to ice and locked. He never loved again. He never saw Antonio again and he was disliked by all the other countries. Soon, he became unwanted and forgotten. Not even his brother or his country remembered him. Then he disappeared.
