I Was Broken, Until I Met You (Completed)

¤ Chapter 1 ¤

It's been a long time since I took a walk to the park and to be honest my heart was beating faster with the nerves I was feeling. The park was more alive, with people littering from everywhere.

All this years of thinking my life will get better, that my life will be normal, that I will live my life freely without constantly worrying about what will happen next, I suddenly came to a realisation that I'm just kidding myself. That such things doesn't exist in our world, only in movies. Watching Disney movies itself made me hope that my life will get better, that I would live happily ever after. Truly I've been a bigger fool than I realized.

Life for me will always suck, it's like god is trying to punish me for someone else's mistakes, because last time I checked I'm in way deeper shit than I came to realise.

I was in a bad mood obviously, and my mood was worsening by the minute. Just thinking about a whole bunch of things I was going through really put a lot of weight on my shoulders. A kind of weight I would love to release.

My whole body was numb and tired, my heart aching. I wanted to cry right there and then, but I couldn't. Not with so many people on the park. So many of them showing bigger smiles, genuine ones. While some smiled just to show off their white teeth, teeth that will definitely fall when they grew older. Even mine.

I hated growing up, I hated the fact as I grew up, things that I took for granted were the things that would matter as I grew up. I hated growing up and there was nothing I could do about it, other than to admit I was growing up. Faster than I thought.

After sitting on the nearest seat, I sighed through my nose. Putting on my thinking face. Narrowed eyes, lip biting, scrunched up nose and fiddling fingers. I pretty much looked like I was in pain of some sort, but I couldn't care less. I was already on the run, not for the first time though but this time I regretted it, simply because I felt guilty. I don't usually call it running away, exploring is a much better word. A new environment always do great wonders. A breathe of fresh air.

A shiver ran down my spine as a flashback of what happened earlier today hit my brain so hard that I was lightheaded. I ran my hands through my dark brown hair, taking a moment to look around the park.

I needed a distraction, as much as I'd like to drown myself on a few funny videos on YouTube, I was not in the mood to laugh at other people's business, not with my shitty mood. My eyes searched the park very slowly. People were sitting around the park, either in groups or alone. Some were playing with their families, some just chatting with some friends, and some jogging from left, right and centre. It seemed I was the only one sulking and that made me sad than I already was.

I sat there for an hour, or at least two, thinking of a way to make things right. A way to put everything behind and just move on. Move forward.

How I didn't know.

How will things ever be alright after what I saw, what I experienced, after what I have been through. Everything was falling apart right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The part that scared me the most was the fact that everyone I come across either has some kind of agenda or something's wrong with them. Either they will leave freely or they have some kind of deadly disease that will kill them.

And what terrified me every time in my life was that everyone and everything I come across always walk away from me, disappear or die. That's scary shit.

My dog was killed by another crazy dog in front of my eyes when I was 10, that day was the day I vowed to my dog (Billie) that I would never adopt another dog in my life. I didn't wanna go through the pain of losing a piece of me.