Precious Karma

I am vengeful, with no name, yet forgiving
I lack empathy, yet so sensitive
With a heart full of scars
I thirst for nothing but love
It's hurts when I smile, but I value the pain
It's only temporary

There he was
The man that was stuck in my head
His laugh is kind, but his eyes are fierce
Skin so vibrant, fed with melanin
He is damage, beyond repair
Something like me.

There I was,
Afraid of myself, I am weak
Waiting to be held
I just need to feel something
Anything

I glared at him, he caught sight of my frailty
Approached me with a smile
So beautiful and bold
This must be a mistake

I'll get too involve, and expose my demons
I'll show too much compassion,
And he might leave me
He's enter my mind, and graced my soul
How can someone so abused, breathe life into me.

I give up
I offered my heart, praying he'll protect it
I am no longer threaten by peace
I tell him my secrets, i know that he'll keep it
My one and true love, he'll never hurt me
I am complete

A decade had past, Im still with my love
He Kiss me awake every morning
But sit in tears every night
I'll do anything to make it better
I owe him my life

He suggest that we move, and I agreed
claimed he miss his family
this is new
He's never talked about family
His brother was killed. And mother over dosed
He said there's a sister

No argument.
We pack and leave
I met his sister. Tall and gorgeous
She had a little boy, said his name was Osiris

Osiris is beautiful
Full with glee. The son I never had
At least not yet. I am pregnant
Life is great
Saved from depression,
by the man of my dreams
A sister in-law,
with a boy precious and sweet
I can only hope my daughter is elegant

The day has become night
I am sore, and stress
My husband is asleep
He left a letter on the bed,
A gun to my right
I always knew he was depressed
I understand his pain

Blood stains on the letter
I toss it away
Empty bottle of pills by his side
He is trying to die
I shake him awake.
He's screaming. He is sorry

My heart is pounding.
I feel unbalanced, strike with fear
What have he done
He explains to me
His sister is his first love
And Osiris is his son.

Waterfalls, unleashed from my eyes
I stay put. A silent cry
Betrayal is lethal
I fell in love with the devil

I point the gun to his head
His life is worthless
He's crying and begging
I ask him why
No answer
I now see, forever is never
I pull the trigger, and squeeze
Long kiss goodnight

I am a victim
I am a murderer
I am a deceived women
A baby girl, soon to be delivered
She will represent my pain
My past, and anger inside

Born from the devils seed
And no father to lead,
What will be her name
I'll call her KARMA
A name so precious- Lawfield Jallayu