Loving You

Tears form in my eyes as I walk out of his apartment, but I refuse to let them go. Not yet, I told myself, not yet. The moment the elevator doors close, I let my head fall back against the wall and close my eyes exhaling the breath I didn't know I was holding. Memories of the event that just occurred flashed before my eyes.

"What is going on, Isaac? You have been so distant and neglecting me all week. Coming home after midnight, no texts, no calls, and we don't even talk anymore. We have been together for five years. Five years! If we can't communicate, we have nothing. I can't do this anymore." I say to him trying not to let my anger get ahead of me.

"Kaycee-," he steps closer trying to hold me close, trying to make it better, but I was fuming. I step back holding out my hand, the universal sign of 'I need my space' making him stop in his tracks. "Baby, you know I would do nothing, and I mean nothing, to ever hurt you. I love you and will always lov-"

"If you did, you would let me know what is going on. You know how important trust is to me, especially because of my past. What is going on?" I pause stepping forward, afraid to say the next words. "Are you cheating on me?" His eyes widen at my words. It was the same expression my ex-boyfriend had when I caught him in bed with another woman. My heart dropped because I knew he was the one, or at least I thought he was. I ask him again, ready for the worst, "What is going on?"

He looks up at the ceiling and then down to the ground while simultaneously running his fingers through his curly auburn hair vigorously before letting his hand fall. Then, he said the words that hurt me more than they should. "I can't tell you, princess. I'm sorry." He wore an apologetic and regretful expression on his face.

A sigh escaped my lips as I look down from the ground and then up to his gorgeous chocolate eyes for the very last time. "Well, then I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore."

As I walk out of his apartment, I wish he would call out my name, tell me to stay, but he did not say a single word.

The elevator doors open and I head home.

***

"Girl, you're a mess," my best friend, Lexi, says as she sets a black americano in front of me and sips on her cappuccino. "I know, it has been a hard week without him."

"Hard week? You can say that again. I thought he was the one. I loved him! I truly loved him and this hurts more than anything." I put my head in my hands and try to push back my tears.

"Ke-Ke, if you don't even know his side of the story, don't come to conclusions. So, what if you have had a few bad breakups, it made you stronger-," I look back up into her eyes.

"A few?" I said, tilting my head to the side and raising an eyebrow. "Ok fine! - " she says rolling her eyes. "-maybe all of them, but that doesn't mean you can never trust anyone. This relationship lasted the longest because you let yourself love and trust. Come on, everyone knows that." I look up at her through my wet lashes and laugh at her statement. I take a sip of my coffee letting the hot liquid soothe all my troubles away - it did not help. The ache in my chest would not go away.

She looks directly into my eyes and says, "So, just because you don't know or he can't share his side does not mean he is cheating. He could be really busy or he could be helping a friend. You need to trust him. You need to trust your relationship. I think you should-."

Before she could finish, my phone rings and it was Isaac. This was the first time he called me since our breakup. "Oh my god, what should I do? What should I do!?" I say frantically in Lexi's face.

"Pick up the phone, you dummy!" she says as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Riddled with uncertainty, I flex my fingers around my phone and press the answer button as Lexi pushes her face against the other side of the phone, openly eavesdropping into the conversation.