By now I had learned how to tune out my children's constant screaming matches. They were always about something different. "How could you try to date my bestfriend?", "Why did you read my diary?", "How dare you break my video game!" were some of the things I'd heard in the past week. My oldest, Eric, is hard- headed and will fight for his way. His sister, Marley, is two years younger and has the same level of determination as Eric. My husband would spank them both as small children, but he'd run off after Eric was 8, Marley was 6 then. Now with two teenagers, it's harder to keep them in line.
My level of tolerance wore thin over the past years, there were so many things I just couldn't find the strength to do. Our house was stacked tall of piles of laundry to do, dishes to clean, and I hardly ever found time to buy grocceries, but we've made it this far. I was doing dishes at this moment, until I heard Marley scream, " Honestly, you are ridiculous thinking you could da-a-a" and a few gags followed.
Kids fight. I'm sure she was gagging on air or such, nothing a glass of water couldn't fix. I hate myself for ever thinking that now.
"Mom!" Eric called, an urgency in his shaking voice. I'd never heard him sound like that since the day his father ran off. This had to be important. I reacted fast, not caring about the glass I was washing in the sink. I heard it shatter while I ran to Eric's voice.
The sight of the scene in front of me stole my breath away. Marley lay almost lifeless on the floor. I couldn't think, move, or speak. "Mom! Do something!" Eric screamed, but his voice was distant as my mind started tuning out the situation.
About 10 minutes later when the ambulance pulled up, I barely noticed. I remember the paramedic asking me questions but I wasn't able to respond. I sat with a blank stare on the floor, catching brief words or phrases from the conversation with the medic and Eric.
Eric was soon bawling. I didn't know why because to me the world had stopped. "Mam' I'm going to need you to listen. Really listen this time. It's important that we talk," the kind medic told me. I was led by him into the hallway to talk more privately.
"I know this is hard for you to grasp Miss but your daughter, Marley, she's- she, well she doesn't have a pulse." he said in a calm, angelic voice.
That day I thought my entire world had ended.
