The soft cloth laid beneath me. Comforting me physically but not mentally. My bottom lip sits between my teeth biting hard. My eyes squeezed shut. A salty liquid sweeps down my cheek ever so slowly, bringing its warmth with it.
"Please stop" I croak. My voice no bigger then a whisper.
They don't stop. They just get louder, so damn load. I feels like the souls sworm around in my head. Each yelling and screaming for my attention. They were the dark cloud in the storm of my mind. And I just wanted it to be over. I wanted the rain to stop and for the rainbow to appear. But I new that was never going to happen and that's what hurts the most. Knowing he'll never be mine when he's someone else's.
Louder they got. Louder louder louder louder louder louder LOUDER LOUDER SO FUCKING LOUD!!
"GET OUT OFF MY HEAD"
I hop from my laying position holding my head in my hands. Dear god make it stop...MAKE IT FUCKING STOP! Without warning my head flew back with my mouth flying open. I felt the vibrations of a shrill scream excepting my throat. A bandshee's last scream.The dark souls that once haunted my mind slowly began to sneak out my head falling into the wind. Relief flooded my veins as the scream slowly came to a stop. Then I got what I wanted along.
Silents
I don't understand. Why can't it alway be like this? Quiet and peaceful. Why do I have to be the angel that has the devil in her head?
But this feeling didn't last for long as I dropped to my knees my head hanging low. Surprising even myself a yelp escaped between my lips that slowly turned into a full out cry. I hated this so much. I just wanted this all to end. I felt as my head begin to bang. A reaction from the scream. Pain shot up my temples make my cries harder. A whistle is slowly heard in my ears. No
"We're back" they called. The voices. And so it started again whispers that slowly turned into screams. My happiness the slowly turned into pure agony. I clutch my head in my hand crying out in pain. As they slowly reentered, a little prick is stabbed into my head blasting into a yelp. I feel a warm liquid curve out my ears. I quickly swipe my hand over my lope then bring it to my face.
Blood. Another cry follows not shortly after.
Why me? Was the only thought going throw my head at this time. I just want it to end. I wanted it to end so damn much, but I new as long as my heart is beating they'll always be there. They will alway be shaking the doors to my mind. Wanting to release any sanity I have left. I was able to fight back. The scream quieting them down for hours, but as I grew strong so did they. And now it only takes second for them to return.
"I can't take this anymore" I snapped. "I CANT FUCKING DO..." I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. "I can't do this" I stated like it was the simplest thing in the world.
Without a another word I stood on my feet moving towards my bed. I throw my pillow across the room and grasped what was behind it. I felt blood moving between my fingers from holding it to tight.
My hand grabbed it then holding it against my wrist. I press down slowly drawing blood as I moved it downward. At first the pain was unbearable but now it was numb. As I cut the voices that were screaming for me to stop began to fade. That peaceful quite I wanted so bad began to get clearer.
I moved to the next wrist going even deeper. All I thought threw the pain was it would all be over soon. As I finished I throw the blade to the side starring out the window waiting for death to come.
It was a beautiful night sky. The stars shinning bright as ever. I stood there admiring what I would never see again. There it was. The thing I wanted to bad in life. Silents. No sound at all. A wave of happiness washed around me. Before knowing what had happened my back hit the floor. I laid starting at the celling. Thinking of what's to come. Was this the end? Would I see Allison? Would she be mad? What will Stiles do? He was spossed to be hear tonight. We were going to look over books to see what Parish was. But Stiles had to cancel because of Milia or something. I tried to call him but the voice screamed to load for me to hear what he had to say.
I flash of light came from my window, but I chose not to pay attention to it. My eyes fludder open then closed and open again. I can no longer hear or see very well. I guess this is how it ends. My beautiful silent is intrupped by the sound of a door opening.
"Lydia?" A voice called. Stiles. "Lydia where are you?" He called taking steps inside. "Ly...holy shit" He breathed. "SHIT LYDIA!" A sudden warmth coated my body holding me up. "Lydia" He cried "Lydia what did you do"
I open my green eyes to met tear stained hazel ones. "I'm sorry" I whispered. He just starred back in utter disbelief.
"No" He spoke huskily. "No LYDIA YOUR NOT DYING ON ME" My eyes shut finally.
"Hello? Yes I need help right now at *gives address* please!" I heard Stiles call the cops. "There coming down worry Lydia" He cradled me. "It's going I be ok" He cried. "Please don't do this Lydia" he croaked. "Lydia....Lydia godamnit I love you"
"Lydia I have loved you since the first time I saw you I that damn sandbox...ok?.. I new you were the one. I loved the way you could walk into a room and turn every head in the school. I loved the way you could figure out a problem faster then me. I loved the way you smiled when I fell. I loved the way you cried. It was alway you Lydia, I have always loved you." The word fell off his lips like poison. I new at that moment it was time.
"Stiles" I croaked. "I love you to" he gasped.
Then it was over. All the hurt and pain and voices. Over because I Lydia Martin. Is dead
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