Get Out Your Damn Umbrellas

Chapter 3

Dan was not ready to return to the land of the living when the edge of consciousness crept up on him. At the first twinge of pain, his mind immediately locked itself in a self-protective state, unwilling to process whatever came next. It didn't escape his notice, however, that he was lying on his back, which left him with a disturbing sense of vulnerability. His chest felt waterlogged as his heart picked up a faster rhythm, and his limbs were heavy and uncooperative, but somehow he managed to turn over and tuck one arm under his stomach. Unfamiliar sensations tugged at his mind, but he continued to block them out. That was until he heard a voice say his name.

"Morning, Mr. Howell. How are you feeling?"

It was a female voice. The tone was light and friendly, but it startled him enough to open his eyes. A woman in light blue scrubs stood a few feet from the narrow cot Dan was lying on. Beams of light streamed through the blinds and streaked the austere walls as well as the stark white curtain that hung where the door should be. Soft beeping from machinery echoed in the corner of what was quite discernibly a hospital room.

Upon this realization the floodgates finally opened, and Dan's mind was overtaken by memories of what he'd woken up to the last few time he'd regained consciousness. He saw their faces looming over him, felt their rough hands grabbing, hitting, choking, forcing, holding him down, heard their voices taunting him as his body was wracked with pain over and over and over. Nothing could make it stop. Crying and begging just spurned them on, made them take more and more pleasure in hurting him-

"Please Mr. Howell, I need you to take slow, deep breaths." The woman, most likely a nurse, had positioned herself right by his bedside and was staring at him with mild alarm. "You're in hospital. You're safe. No one is trying to hurt you. Deep breaths, now, in through the nose and out through the mouth."

As Dan's mind slowly cleared, his first coherent thought was Dan, get a grip. You're making this person feel awkward. He struggled to follow the nurse's instructions, but with each deep inhalation his throat burned and his chest ached.

"There you go, that's it," the nurse said, giving him an encouraging smile that did little to mask the pity in her expression. She glanced nervously at the machine tracking his vital signs until they gradually stabilized. "Alright, then. Let's see what we can do to help you feel more comfortable. Is there anything I can get for you?"

Dan knew without even making an attempt that his throat hurt too much at the moment to produce speech. Of all the languages he'd taken an interest in learning, sign language was the one he'd made the least progress in, but there were still a few words and phrases that he remembered. With no other method available to communicate what he needed, he made the "w" sign with three stiff fingers and tapped his index finger against his chapped lips.

The nurse appeared confused for a moment, but then her face lit up in recognition. "Oh, would you like some water?" After an awkward pause, the nurse walked behind the curtain and returned with a small rolling tray table carrying a stack of plastic cups and a pitcher of water. "It'd probably be best if you could sit up at bit," she said, pouring a cup and holding it out for him.

There was an IV line taped to the inside of Dan's right arm, the one he was half lying on. Still, he used his useless arm to push himself up from the bed and kept his left arm braced against his torso. His heart rate spiked again as he tried to sit up and was met with sharp stabs of pain from the numerous stitches under his thin, papery hospital gown being tugged by the movement. He became acutely aware of all the places where his body had been torn open and sewn back together, specifically his back and stomach and between his legs. The implications of theses sensations made him feel dizzy and weak.

In a well-meaning gesture, the nurse brought the cup closer and was possibly going to try to pour it into his mouth for him, but Dan jolted violently and ended up knocking the cup out of her hand. Even though the reaction was involuntary, he immediately regretted it. He glanced up at the nurse and tried to wordlessly apologize, but he must have simply looked frightened, because she apologized instead.