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CHAPTER EIGHT ❝destiny❞
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HER RELATIONSHIP WITH DRACO HAD NOT IMPROVED SINCE OCTOBER. It was now February and there was still a stagnation between them. They worked together in silence, talking only when needed and even though Rosalie liked to pretend to think she was stone cold, that meaningless relationships did not affect her, it was getting hard to keep believing that.
For she knew what her relationship with Draco truly was; they were partners in crime, partners in this task and maybe another later, but they were not friends. They held nothing close between them that would allow her to truly feel this, to feel this brokenness and a longing for it to come back. They had barely had any conversation that hadn't pertained to their mission, so she had no reason to be sad. There was no reason for this pang in her heart when she thought about him or when he turned away from her.
Yet, even though logically she knew that there was no reason for this – that this was petty and should not affect her in the slightest way – it still did. She still hurt and flinched whenever he looked away from her, seemingly too disgusted by her to even see her face. To notice that she was even there.
And it still hurt when he would not say a word to her, when he would give her a cold tone in his answers. Rosalie hated that she felt this way, that there was a feeling between the two of them that wasn't just the partnership she wished it was. No, it had seemed in their time together that she had begun to care for him. To feel sympathetic for his duty, how he was forced into this while she had chosen it. She felt a sadness and a guiltiness whenever they met together to work on the Vanishing Cabinet.
She wanted to apologize, to explain to him her choice, but every time she got close to spilling it all, to displaying her vulnerability, her brained stopped. Her mouth wouldn't open, her voice wouldn't work, nothing would come out to explain it. Her mind was not allowing her to tell him them truth; her mind was keeping her safe.
Of course her mind would. Telling him the truth risked exposure to her disloyalty and could lead to her death but it would also place Draco in a position of beheading. Well, a killing curse to be truthful, but it might cause his termination. Yet, even though it was safer not to say a word and to allow this divide between them, Rosalie wanted to close the gap.
It was dangerous, it was impractical; it was full of emotions that she shouldn't be having, yet it was still there and it nagged her constantly.
And soon her will broke, her mind couldn't hold her back; she had to fix this. She wanted to fix this because this could be a friendship, this could be the end to her but the beginning of some connection with a human that she had been lacking for such a long time. She needed to say this, she needed to let it all out.
