Beauty And Beauty

1

She's dazzling.
The way her hair flips with the wind.
The way her eyes glitters in the sunshine.
Nose, as pointed as a tip of a pen.
Lips, curved and pouty, as red as an apple.
The way she smile gives me a sensation that makes me feel like I'm the luckiest LADY in the world.

Yes, you read it right. I'm a girl, a lesbian rather. You may find it weird but that's me. It is the real me. I've known it since I was young. I play with dolls and dresses up like a princess but I've known ever since I was 5 that there was something.

Something different.

Something that bothers me ever since I was a child. There's always a feeling that you're out of place. Even if I'm covered in pink and glitters there's always a distinct feeling that I cannot understand.

I had my first crush when I was 8.

Sorry to disappoint you but it was a boy not a girl. His name was Grey. He is charming. He helps me with my homework and he plays with me every afternoon after school. He's 3 years older than me by the way. He is my brother's friend that's why we became friends as well.

He makes me smile. He even treated me an ice cream once. We always talk and became close with one another.

Maybe it was too young for love but I know that it felt good.

Only to find out the he's gay. We've been friends for over 2 years when he admitted that he likes my brother. I was shook.

I laughed at him. How do you expect me to react? Of course, I'm just 10 at that time so I'm not yet exposed with homosexual people.

It's ironic when I've said that I'm not exposed with homosexuals but I've been friends with one for almost two years.

It's awkward. Well, he's my crush for almost two years. So it was shocking to know that he's gay.

But I don't know why? I felt something different. It made me feel like I'm not alone in this world. It feels like we have some mutual understanding. Although it's not a romantic feeling since Grey is into my brother.

It's just a weird feeling. I don't know. Maybe it's the time when I first knew
my gender.

Grey and I became much more closer than ever. But I am not rooting him for my brother because he has a girlfriend already and he's straight. Good thing that he's open minded so he is not salty about their relationship.

8 years later and we're still good friends. 

Grey started hitting on with some boys and finally found a boyfriend.

I also admitted to my parents that I was a lesbian when I was 14 years old. At first, they thought that I was influenced by Grey but I told them that there was a weird feeling inside me ever since I'm 5. 

Thanks to God that they accepted me and they're not homophobic. They even suggested me to court a girl once but I refused to do it since I'm not into that girl. 

I'm into this one. 18 year old, tall, lean, fair-skinned, long black straight hair, crooked teeth but smiles so perfectly. She's intelligent, caring and very kind as well. She's like a sunshine, full of warmth and positivity inside. 

We're both in Grade 12 and taking the same strand. We are friends. We are not that much close because my mind seems to fly away everytime she's near. She doesn't know that I'm a lesbian. 

I try to keep it as hidden as possible because being a lesbian is not that accepted in our country. There's a bias because gays are much more accepted than lesbian in our country. It's weird because a lot of people say they support the LGBTQIA+ community but only likes gay people. So I try to keep it a secret but it's fine with me since I'm open with my parents.