Project P.U.S.S.Y

Chapter One: The Intro

   The old man scowled as he stared into the rising morning sun. The old man, not being particularly fond of mornings, awoke upset. Then again, he was always upset. The house was quite peaceful as the pale morning sun streamed in through the windows and cracks in the celieng. The ambient sound of silence was abundant, the old man lives with only his dog, enhancing this feeling. Peadee, the old man's Chihuahua, came running in and sat up right on top of the old man's lap. "Bad dog! You will be punished for your insolent behavior!" When the old man spoke (the word screeched is more appropriate) it sounded as though he had been a smoker for the past 142 years (which he was) mixed with the sound of throat cancer (with knives stuck in it). Very raspy!

   The old man proceded to slap the dog repeatedly. The sound of the old mans insane laughter filled the room. "Bruhahahahahaha! Your abuse has just commenced!" This, unknown to the old man, was not true. In reality, all the old man was doing was just mildly tapping the dog, but who knows what his crazed eyes were seeing. The dog gave a look of annoyance and moved to the living room. This, in turn, upset the old man. "Bad dog! I did not give you permission to leave!" The old man, having quite a cynical complex, proceeded to chase the dog around the house. His shrieks of anger were met with the growling and barking of the dog. Finally, the old man had it cornered and declared "This is an abuse that you will not soon forget!" And with a final "Bad dog!" He lunged towards Peadee and began striking him. Unfortunately, the old man did not anticipate what happened next. After enduring 5 slaps the dog snapped and bit the old mans fingers. "Arrrggggg!" He screams. The old man stares in disbelief at the bleeding flesh wound and then again at the dog. The old man feels something stir inside him, the black fire of hatred swirling around any mercy he had left in him. "Your punishment has commenced..." he chocked out "...and we shall resume later." The old man leaned forward, eyes squinting, As he examined the dog.

   It was a rather large chuiuahauh with a tan coat and white paws. It's snout was large, it was a deer head, and it's eyes were big bulging black beads. It's teeth were showing as the dogs joules pulled up in anger. It seemed plausible that the dog would never forgive him though he did not care. The only reason he had a dog was to abuse it, or so he thought but you'll learn about that later. The old man decided that a walk into town, something he violently hated as he was very prone to sweating, was in order. He made the proper arrangements, making sure that there was no food in the dogs bowl of coarse, and opened the old creaking door and stepped outside. Immediately he snorted and snuffed as this was the first time he had left the house in who knows how long, probably decades. Well, his plan to not sweat had failed already, these past 15 seconds had left him literally drenched in sweat. The old mans house was located in the middle of a field with a wall of pine trees surrounding the rest of it. In the distance he could hear the swishing of the trees, as though they were the ghosts of the people who became lost in the woods. Walking into the forest, he found the path, his path that is, and he walked up to the sign. He had placed this sign there in time lost to memory as a way of knowing when last he traveled along its dark trails. Taking out a marker, he scratched out "1988" and wrote "2014". The light from the sun was barley noticeable in this place. Whatever light that managed to find its way down was very faint. Looking up, he could make out the glimmering sun through the tree tops. The fog in he distance made it impossible to see farther than 30 feet.

   Walking along the path, he was quite flummoxed, he was leaving a trail of sweat behind him and already he smelled like an onion. His legs, largely unable to support his body, waddled through the dirt path. At last he came came across a clearing with a large tree in the center. Hanging from a branch, he could just make out the silhouette of a hanging man. Approaching the tree, he found a sign carved into the tree reading "True suffering is not known." Next to the tree, a rope ladder hangs down. Leaving the disturbing site, the old man continued on his journey into town. As he endures the misery brought on by the wretched humidity, he finds his thoughts drifting back to the dog. "How can he abuse me? Only I can abuse animals!" He let out a terrible scream, a scream which bounded around the woods for some time after it was uttered. "He will be punished! But how? I cannot abuse him for he retaliates and attacks me." The old man pondered on and on, till at last he left the path and arrived in town. 'Twas a Saturday and all the children were out and about, playing and such, ...save one.

   Little Timothy didn't have very many friends and was inclined to be slow in thinking. He was fat, poor, bad at sports, bad at everything except being bad at things, and so on. When the old man came stomping into town, Timothy came skipping right up to the old man. He spoke with an English like accent and had the rosiest cheeks of any human. "Good day to you sir! Could you spare a farthing?" asked Timothy. "If I had money, I still would not give it to you! If you persist in this wretched onslaught of utter annoyance, you will be punished!" replied the old man in his typical abusive manner. "Sir, please, I'm so hungry!" The old man looked at the boy, examining his... large... demeanor, and replied with "Why are you so fat? Your obesity shall result in punishment!" The old man proceded to slap the child's moobs, while laughing of course, until Timothy was reduced to tears. "I am so fat! I'm going to kill myself!" I'm going to kill myself was Timothy's response to bullying whenever it happened, though he hasn't ever tried. This pleased the old man.

   Something unexpected happened as Timothy ran away. The old man, laughing, felt a single tear slip down his sagging face. He stopped laughing and suddenly he had a vision. He saw the stars moving through space and a speck that the stars revolved around. Now, speeding towards the speck at the speed of light, the old man beheld a planet. Half of it was red and covered with many volcanoes and other such natural formations and the other side was technologically advanced, as he could tell by its lights and buildings, and it all had a green color to it. The old man felt a tugging in his heart, a feeling he had never (or so he thought)... A feeling that he recognized the planet. The vision abruptly ends and the old man snaps back to his senses. Shaking it off, he proceeded into town and entered the market, the whole way there wondering how he could punish the dog without being attacked. He approached the stand and asked the man " I would like 36 years worth of supplies now!" The man said "Where would you like it all delivered to?" The old man, annoyed, said "The house in the woods!" The man, fed up with the old man said "At least I'm not old!" This offended the old man who said nothing more. "What, cat got your tongue?" Something clicked inside the old man, he was already formulating the plan in his head. This was a perfect idea, flawless even.

   The old man replied with only "Yes, it seems that one does, or at least soon shall. Bruhahaha!"