I should be asleep

Message to a friend

Do you enjoy making me feel bad?
I only ask because you are pretty good at it. Do you sit in your room and practice ways to make me feel lesser?
You tell me I'm stupid
You tell me that you ignore me because I'm dumb.
That I'm too needy and too clingy.
That it's annoying that I "can't do anything on my own."
Even though you know it's because of my social anxiety it's "still annoying."
Even though you know I can't help it
I cheated on my girlfriend you say
Except I'm pretty sure that guy kissed me and I didn't kiss him back
I ignore my school work and that makes me dumb
Well then I guess you're kinda dumb too because you ignore your school work too
And I ignore my school work because I'm too anxious, stressed and depressed to focus on anything that isn't my emotions or sleeping half of the time
I'm lazy because I don't want to get a job right now (I'm almost 17 and still in high school)
I don't want get a job because of my anxiety and I've told you that multiple times
Honestly we both know that I do a good enough job of bringing myself down all on my own but yet you feel it necessary to do it too
And If I say any of this to you, you'll get all upset and text your cousin about how mean I am too you. Then she'll probably text me and tell me that I need to be nicer to you even though she literally has no idea what's actually going on (because she lives in a whole different state) and I'm not the one in the wrong
But apparently you're perfect and everyone should be more like you and anyone who doesn't know how to do everything that you do is stupid
And even though I think you consider me to be your best friend, honestly I'm one of your only friends, you constantly tell me that I'm not as good as you are

I'm not salty I said sarcastically