(trigger warning) nothing

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i feel nothing.

i feeling nothing so i cause something to happen so maybe i will feel.

i fuck with hearts and minds.

i skin the innocence away from children and watch them drown in their sorrows as i sit and watch in my own puddle of disappointment.

i weirdly enjoy the only feeling i have left.

pain.

the only thing i will remember. the only thing i see. taste. touch. hear. smell is pain.

i like the pain.

the pain of my sweet sharp friend running across the disgusting layer of dying cells I call skin.

it doesn't help it just makes me happy.

when i do things to my body it hurts.

but i like to think that i've always felt this pain so i am used to it.

so I will continue to slit the thing that protects others from seeing the real me because i need to.

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