i wish i couldve saved caleb.
i wish i texted caleb and knew his tik tok.
i wish i knew more about him than i did.
i wish i knew about his depression and cutting.
i wish i couldve given him so many hugs.
i wish i wouldve told him how much i cared about him.
i wish i had caleb in all my classes.i miss caleb so fucking much that it isnt even funny. he didnt need to go so early. he was fucking 12. i miss his smile, his kindness, his laugh. the last time i saw caleb was in the nurses office during one of his asthma attacks. i didnt even get to say hi. and i missed the enitre week after, the week of the weekend when he died. i wish i couldve saw his face one last time. god. im crying just thinking about that. his funeral was horrible. all of us were bawling our eyes out. i wanted to stand by his body longer, and just....cry. but i couldnt. i regret not leaning over the casket for half an hour and just looking and crying. he always had good looks, though he was really insecure and thought he was ugly. he had the prettiest eyes. they were really light blue, with a tint of like..brown in them. streaks of brown. i miss him. i miss caleb. and i wish he was here.