Chapter 1

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"Just hit the town and don't come back until you find him." Those words rang loudly in my head as my eyes traced frantic lines down the car window, following drops of rain. I'd never carried a positive disposition when it came to him. Those fucking degenerates; more trouble than they're worth. I caught glimpses of life that thrived during the night underneath passing street lights. I found myself fixating on the people I saw, as if living vicariously through these people for even a moment might give me temporary respite from my troubled mind. The taxi driver relaxed in his seat, allowing one arm to fall to his side as he yawned and twisted, trying to find a comfort that tonight, had so far eluded him. He adjusted the rear-view mirror, dashing me with infrequent glances, trying to catch my eyes. He nervously cleared his throat, "Hey buddy, do you -uh, mind if I smoke in here?" He meekly stuttered, trying and failing to hide the discomfort in his tone. "It's fine," I said calmly, "I just won't breathe." He let out an awkward chuckle and continued to stare, clearly unsure how to respond to my answer. After allowing the silence to sit for perhaps an uncomfortable duration, I continued, "Go ahead," I chuckled, flashing a wry smile, "I'm only fucking with you." he returned a smile and retrieved a cigarette, lighting it with exactly the kind of expert dexterity you'd expect from a driver still working at one thirty at night. For a moment afterwards, he fumbled with his pack while the lit cig hung from his mouth, and presented a second cigarette. "You want one?" He held it behind his seat while his focus shifted between my eyes and the street in front of us. "I quit a few years back, but thanks." He simply nodded and returned his hand to the wheel, and his attention to the dimly lit road.

The buildings we passed began to appear more and more familiar, signalling our impending arrival. The rain had stopped now and I could clearly see where we were. This kind of place had never interested me before, and still tonight the bright lights and moderate pedestrian activity of inner Sydney made me uncomfortable. The taxi came to a stop on the side of the road, and I got ready to leave the car. The driver turned to me, eyes glued to the built in metre, "That's twenty five dollars and seventy cents." He turned his gaze toward me, expectantly. I opened my wallet, revealing it to be entirely empty, "Shit, I've got no way to pay here." The mood of the air shifted suddenly, "No money? Why the hell did you order a taxi if you can't pay for it?" The drivers face twisted itself from the tired yet amiable smile that was present moments ago into a searing scowl, and he began to raise his voice. "If you think you can rip me off, you've got another thing coming!" I raised my eyes to meet his glare, "Yea, don't you hate it when that happens? I think it would be easier for you to forget me entirely." His expression began to register confusion. His eyes glazed over and he began to stutter. "Why would I- uh, that is to say that you are- um..." "Exactly." I replied. I opened the taxi door and stepped out into the cool night air. As I made my way down the wet sidewalk, I turned to see the cab as it slowly pulled away. Who needs a train card? I moved briskly toward the club entrance, stopping once I saw the line to enter. Could be waiting here all night. I walked along the edge of the line to the security standing at the door. "Excuse me, my friend is in there and I need to get him out." The security guard looked me up and down, "Alright, back of the line and you'll be called in." I turned to look again at the line. At least thirty five people waiting to get in, I didn't like my chances. I turned back to the guard. "It's really important that you stand aside and let me in right now. The guard looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. "Listen, I tried to be- uh." He quickly looked around, "Alright go on in." Moving to the side he ushered me inside, to an audible groan from the patrons who had been waiting patiently up until now. Their cries of protest were quickly drowned out by the sound of house music assaulting my ears.

The inside of the club was about as repulsive as I'd expected. A warm, writhing mass of bodies. The moist, humid air carried a pungent mixed odour of alcohol, sex and... Well it was certainly difficult to concentrate with all my senses being offended simultaneously. The music was loud, so very loud. The bass resonated within my chest cavity and I could feel my internal organs vibrating. I knew he'd be in here somewhere, this is where he always went when he got out on his own. I knew exactly what I could do to get his attention, but it didn't seem like a good idea with so many people around. I turned to make my way toward the exit in the hope that I might catch him leaving, even if it took a few hours. Unsurprisingly, I failed to avoid bumping into a young woman whose hand had an unimpressive grip on the drink it grasped, spilling the contents all over my jacket. "Oohh shit, that was my drink." She slurred as she spoke, "D'ya think about maybe gettin' me a new one?" She tilted her head and raised her arm, lazily slapping her hand down to rest on my shoulder. I averted my gaze, the music still thumping within my chest, and now a dry cleaning bill I had to worry about. "I think maybe not." I said, taking her hand off my shoulder. "You should get out of-" "Silas!" I heard a familiar voice. Paul stepped out from the crowd, almost having appeared from nowhere. "I see you've met Hannah, and- uh oh Siley, did you spill your drink?" Paul dabbed the wet spot of my jacket with his polyester dress shirt, to absolutely no effect. "I keep inviting you down here and the one time you show up, you don't tell me you were coming!" Paul laughed and put a hand each on Hannah and I, grinning wide. "Paul, I don't care about you or your friends. Snowy is getting tired of you not answering your phone." Paul spread his arms and looked around, saying jokingly, "He knows where I am. He sent you!" He smirked, then looked to Hannah, delicately placing a hand on her cheek. "Sorry baby I've gotta go." Hannah curled her upper lip in disgust, slapping his hand away. "Whatever, I don't need either of you weirdos." Hannah flipped her hair as she turned, lightly swatting Paul's face before plunging into the crowd and disappearing entirely. "What a woman, am I right?" Paul had a huge smile on his face. "She's something." I replied, "You can either come with me now, or explain to Snowy tomorrow why you didn't." My patience was beginning to wear thin. Paul said, "Take it easy, big shot. I already said I was going with you. Been long since you ate?" "You have no idea." I replied curtly. Paul groaned, "Oh my god, all you types are the same. You know what I meant." We began making our way through the throng of club patrons, "It's been a while." I said. And now that my attention is on it, the smell in here truly is intoxicating. "I can get something for ya down the street, it'd only take a couple minutes." Paul looked at me, genuine concern apparent in his tone and expression. "I'm fine, Paul. Let's just get out of here."

Outside the club, the atmosphere was the same as it had been when I arrived earlier. Small groups of people stumbled down the footpaths making idle conversation. The muted thumping of club music continued to tickle my chest, even though we were nowhere near the source. The bright street lights made me long for my home, where the night was allowed to be dark. The intoxicating aroma of the club followed me up onto the street, stirring an emptiness inside me that gnawed at the edges of my mind. Paul walked briskly down the street ahead of me, as he passed by strangers he would turn to me with raised eyebrows, pointing at each person he passed. I refused to acknowledge his foolishness and waved down a taxi. When the car came to a stop, I opened the door, motioning for Paul to go first. He gave a short nod, however as he went to sit inside, I pulled him in close. I put my lips up to his ear and whispered, "One day you'll get careless with our secrets, and when that happens, I'll be the one who hunts you and your family down, even Hannah. Everyone you know." I released my grip on his shirt. He stood up to adjust himself, not giving any indication that he'd even heard what I said to him at all, and sat inside the car.

"What does he want this time?" Paul's happy-go-lucky demeanour began to wear off. I replied, "He's tired of you taking off without telling anyone, and you missed his first court." Paul slid one hand down his thigh, grasping his knee, while the other hand played a rhythmic tap on the cars armrest. "Besides," I continued, "He's too prideful to ask Carla to make sure you'll be there." "I'd come back if Carla wanted me to." Paul rebutted. "Right, you would. But that's not the point." I glanced at the driver, who seemed to be paying no attention to our conversation. "Snowy doesn't want to ask her for your attendance, he expects you to give it to him." Paul shook his head and quietly laughed. "Silas, you more than anyone should realise this is dog shit. You've been his errand boy for twelve years and how has he paid you back?" Paul looked at me now, expecting a reply. "Don't pretend we're anything alike." I replied from behind clenched teeth, "Twelve years doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me." Paul rolled his eyes, turning his head toward the window. The remaining drive was quiet, only the faint sound of radio talk-back filled the car, as well as the quiet breathing of Paul and the driver. The familiar and welcoming darkness of our home enveloped the car, save for the two pointed beams lighting the road in front of us. The taxi came to a stop in front of a small apartment building. The driver turned to us, "that's twenty three dollars flat." I leaned forward, catching his eyes with mine, "I think it would be best if you for-" Paul cut me off. "Here's thirty, mate. Keep the change." The driver smiled wide, "Thank you man, very generous." Paul returned the smile as we exited the vehicle, and waved as the taxi drove away. "I wasn't going to let him make us pay, you know." Paul gave a weak smile, "I know," he took out a cigarette and lit it. "But thirty dollars doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to him." We walked into the building, silent.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 08, 2019 ⏰

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