A Place In This Life

Chapter 28

The day came when I would have gone to Catalina with Todd. My duffel bag would have been stuffed with clothes, underwear, shampoo, sponges. At 9:00 a.m., I would have taken off from Newport Harbor on the rented boat with Todd at the wheel, excited to return to the place where we first met.

Instead, I lay in bed at 9:00 a.m., wearing holey sweats and a tank top, a zit forming on my chin that radiated pain down my neck whenever I opened my mouth. My duffel bag was in the closet, on top of the jeans, on top of the sponges. For all I knew, Todd was still going on the rented boat to Catalina, and probably not alone.

"August 10," I said to the ceiling, able to make out pictures of old men, dogs, and Harry Potter in the popcorn. It was hard to control the urge to drag the box of memories out and have a good cry. But I resisted because I had somewhere else I needed to be at 10:00 a.m.

Alex had promised to take me shopping for clothes, and today was the day. It was all set that we would stroll through the mall and see if anything was worth buying. I felt awkward about the whole idea, but as I said to Alex previously, if he was buying that I'd go. There was nothing wrong with showing his affection by dressing me... as long as it didn't involve pantyhose or short skirts.

I took a quick spritz in the shower, put on a little makeup and my nicest schlep outfit — a clean, non-faded pair of black jeans and a navy blue French cut t-shirt — and went to the kitchen for a late breakfast. My stomach was acidic from anticipation of this August day, so I opted for Cheerios.

"What time is Alex picking you up?" asked my mom, filling her slow cooker with dinner — a whole chicken, potatoes, onions, and carrots. I was sure brown rice would accompany the meal.

"Ten," I said between bites, looking up at the kitchen clock. I had 15 minutes.

My parents decided not to make their annual Catalina trip because of what had happened with Todd. It would be too painful to know that they were there while I stayed home. Instead, they talked about taking the train to Mission Bay, going to Sea World, and making this year's vacation a day trip. I appreciated their consideration.

"You better get a move on it," said my mom, forever in panic mode. She slammed the lid on the slow cooker and gave me a big, exaggerated exhale.

"I'm moving, I'm moving," I said, putting my bowl in the sink.

Alex was always pretty timely, this time arriving at 10 on the nose. I was ready and waiting, comfortable tennis shoes on my feet that were ready to burn a trail at the mall.

"If I don't find anything, please don't hold it against me. By the way, what's my budget?"

"Just be smart," he smiled, patting the top of my hand. He learned that I wasn't going to let him kiss me just yet. After a few attempts, only to plant his lips on my ear or in my hair, he got the picture. But my, how I adored my Jonas Brother friend, Alex. Being seen with him was like having a gold-plated Bentley. Girls and women — mothers, even — would give him second looks and try in vain to not look obvious about it.

"People think you're a celebrity. We'll probably be followed," I said, poking Alex in the ribs.

"Good. Maybe I can get some cash for my signature," he laughed.

It was hard to remember the last time I went to the mall. Rarely did I just "shop" for the heck of it, like a hobby, except when I accompanied Cara, who considered it an actual lifestyle.

There were a few things at Macy's that I liked — and they weren't black. Alex was pleased, insisting that I pop out of the dressing room to let him see. Of course, I found some great stuff at Old Navy, which was more up my alley.