I've always read about people being empty and numb, I wondered how can one feel nothing at all? But now I get it. It happens when you despise even the sweetest sound and you want nothing more than silence. When someone's company feels like a weight upon your shoulder that no matter how hard you try won't fall off. When it happens, you notice everything, observe everything from the colour of their eyes to the shallows of their mind. You just want to sleep and not move but at the same time you need to run, run away from the emptiness that has conquered you. When you start to think that the heart is only there to beat and the happy people seem like a drama, faking it. When you lay in bed and are unable to sleep. When you're too tired to move but too awake to sleep. When no demons could scare you more than your own family. And your life just seems like a selfish contract and somehow nothing makes sense and somehow everything makes sense. That's when you know that you are too empty to be alive, your dead inside, and this world has blinded everyone so much that no one can find a way out, out of this disease, and you cry out help me, please.
