Her golden eyes meet mine, corners crinkling happily as she gives me a grin. She's even more beautiful than I ever imagined. The dress she wears hangs in gentle folds, cascading in a sea of maroon and purple down her back. She can't stand white, so we've strayed from the usual. This is no ordinary wedding. It's ours.
The fabric of my own dress is a dark blue, white and green mixed in so it resembles the ocean. That's where we are after all. The sun sparkles against the spray from the rolling waves, giving the area around us a magical effect.
"You look amazing." I whisper, to the air, staring with shining eyes at her. My father holds my arm, walking me slowly down the little gravel path that serves as the isle. As we get closer, I see her cheeks go pink around the light dusting of powder, darkening the spray of freckles that cover her nose. She asked for as little makeup as possible. It only makes her look lovelier.
We reach the altar, and she takes my gloved hand in hers. Her slender fingers wrap tightly around mine, and she goes back to grinning. I smile back, my heart hammering in my chest. She squeezes my hand a little for reassurance, and I force myself to relax. This is no big deal. Just the biggest day of my life.
A few people sit in the audience, smiling up at us. Our little daughter scatters petals in the wind, forgetting that they are supposed to rest on the path. Maybe it was not the best idea to let her uncle supervise. He's to busy laughing.
"Hush." My soon to be mother in law says, pulling the girl back into her place. She quiets, and smiles up at the two of us, pointing.
"Mama! Mommy!" My eyes fill with tears of joy, Rachel has never called me 'mom' before. I turn my attention back to my waiting bride, then to the priest. He recites the words he's said so many times, asking for the vows. I go first.
"I loved you since the moment I saw you. You, and Rachel, you are the best things that ever happened to me. You gave me courage to, to embrace myself, and you convinced me to stop self destructing. You made my life 100 times better, and I don't want to imagine a world without you in it. I love you." She smiles softly, and starts to talk.
"You make me happy. Fillmy world with comfort, and love. I've never felt the way you make me feel around anyone else. I love you more---" I don't hear the rest of her words over the sound of a deafening boom. The world starts to shake, and suddenly, something slams against my chest. I fall to the ground, useless, and watch helplessly as the cliff beside me crumbles, taking my almost wife and everyone I love with me.
My eyes open and I'm screaming again, as I am almost every night. Warm arms embrace me as she reminds me that everything is okay.
"I'm right here baby. We're okay. We're safe. It's alright."
"Rachel." I whisper, burying my head in her neck.
"Shh..." She soothes, holding me close. It wasn't my Paige who died that day. It was our little girl. Our poor little Rachel. I hate this routine. One of us wakes screaming from the events of what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. It doesn't happen as frequently anymore. But it used to. That was almost better. I got to see her again, even if I had to watch everyone else die. Now, the dreams stay away for so long that I can almost imagine everything will be normal or close to normal. Then, that vivid day re-ingrains itself in my head.
"Want me to get you some water?" She asks, running her fingers through my short matted tresses.
"No. No I don't want to sleep anymore." I murmur, pulling away. I slide off the bed to rest in the small chair that has become my home. I push the little lever and expertly guide myself to the smallest bedroom. Three years in the chair, and I've finally gotten used to the controls.
Paige rests her hands on my shoulders, and massages them gently as we watch the little figure sleep. She stays perfectly still, chest rising and falling with the sound of her breaths. Kendall. We still have Kendall. She's four years old, adopted one year ago tomorrow. In three weeks it will the anniversary of our Rachel's death. The best, worst day of my life.
