It was gloomy. The fog of that dawn adds blurredness to my teary eye. The breeze of that morning sends more coldness in my heart. I hate myself last night.
“John, wait!” I shouted as I called the guy I was next to. “She doesn’t love you so why bother to fool yourself because of her.”
As expected he never turns his back. He sprinted his way to the road.
“Please listen to me,” I pleaded to John in order for him to stop his foot from obtaining steps. “I saw her with a guy. They are sweet and she introduces the guy as her boyfriend. She cheated on you.”
“Ina,” he finally turned his back on me. “How many times do I have to tell you, stop making stories about her? What do you really want? Huh?”
“I am not making stories,” I said as my tears rundown from my eyes. “John, it is all true.”
“And what makes you think I would believe in you?” he respond. Yeah, that strikes. After all these years I have been the one to be with him. Yeah, that strikes me.
“Maybe, I am not that convincing,” I said as I hold my tears from bursting. “But can’t you see she’s ignoring you. Even in your anniversary she never showed herself.”
“Why are you doing this? What do you want?” He shouted at me. Why is he that harsh on me?
“Because I love you and I don’t want you to be fooled by that unworthy girl.” Now the remaining water in my eyes burst out of me. “She cheats on you. She is just playing with your feelings. Please, I don’t ask you to love me back but at least love a worthy one.”
He was obviously shock with what I uttered. “Get lost! You’re insane. Please stop it. And please don’t ever dare to talk to me. Whatever you say whether it’s the truth or not I couldn’t and wouldn’t love you back. ” He shouted at my face.
He always scratches my heart and I hate myself for continuously loving him. I still love him though he treated me cold. I love him even he yells at me. I love him despite of the notion that he nailed his eyes and heart to someone and he can never turn and look at me like the way he look at her. It hurts but my heart is stubborn.
“John,” I called him in a low and hurting voice.
He turned his head sideward as he face the road towards us and said, “Just get lost.”
Then I just find myself kneeling on that ground filled of grasses. He walks away without saying any words. I looked in to his back as he walks afar from me. I am stunned. For this moment I don’t know if I can bear the pain.
In that place, that particular road in that street, I burst out. I feel broken. It was that dawn.
