The Hidden Pocket {ruel van dijk}

chapter seventeen

"You know that you won't die if you go outside, right?" I ask Ruel. He stands in front of the sliding door of the hotel suite, staring at the thick smog lining the low atmosphere of the city, his hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie.

"I won't die?" He questions, cocking his head to the right.

"Of what?"

"Exposure."

I roll my eyes and stand up from the bed, stretching out my legs. "It's just a bit of pollution. I'm sure you'll live." I walk over to him and pat his shoulder as I talk. "So let's go do something."

"Can't we relax? We got off of the plane only two hours ago." He asks, almost begging. He turns his head and meets my stare, softening my stance and insistence on going out almost instantly.

"Fine." I sigh, walking back over to the bed and throwing myself on it. "But we are doing what I want tonight."

"Deal." He stares at the city for a few more seconds before walking towards me and lying down next to me. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at the ceiling, breathing deeply.

I hold my breath as I stare upwards as well, making sure no part of my body is touching his. The silence does nothing but inflate the tension. The air is thick as I stand suddenly and walk away from him, finally able to breathe.

"I am going to the pool." I announce as I scurry out of his room.

His green eyes give me a questioning look before closing. I shut the door behind me as I leave.

I spot Coco sitting on the couch, picking at a bowl of grapes sitting on her lap as she scrolls through her phone. I walk past her as I head to my room, smiling kindly at her when she looks up.

"Your brother is bland." I say flatly.

"Tell me something I don't know." She comments and chuckles.

I take a deep breath as soon as I'm alone in my room. I'm tired but I'm also bored. Sluggishly, I change out of my clothes and into a bathing suit and shorts. I grab my favorite sun hat and my copy of Jane Eyre before leaving the suite.

I walk through the halls quickly, wanting more than anything to lie down on a lounge chair in the Sun. I relax my shoulders once I'm outside, seeing as there are very few people out here. I count eleven others. I set my stuff down on a chair in the corner and recline on the one next to it. I pull my sun hat on, shading my face, and open my book.

It's not easy to keep my eyes open.

The plane ride has exhausted me but yet I insist on anything but sleep. My dreams have increasingly become more difficult to deal with, consisting of, and only of, Ruel.

Ruel. The boy who managed to drag me all the way to California with such short notice. The boy who managed to occupy all of my thoughts. The boy who managed to become the primary source of my joy. The boy who managed to wrap me around his finger so quick, so naturally. The boy who is taking over my thoughts right now and is pulling me away from my reading.

The coolness of a shadow makes me look up. A tall silhouette stands in front of the Sun and shades my eyes.

"Speaking of." I murmur.

"You were talking about me?" He asks as he sits down besides me, scooting his lounge chair a few inches closer to mine.

"Thinking about you."

"I'm flattered. You'd be delighted to know that I just happened to be thinking of you as well."

Cheeky. I smile at him and laugh.

"And what exactly were you thinking?" I ask, pushing it.

"Just that I wanted to be near you." He rests his hand on top of mine and curls his fingers around mine. I shiver despite the heat.

His hair glimmers a light blonde in the afternoon light, falling gently on the edges of his face. After only about a minute outside, his cheeks have already turned a darker shade of pink. Perhaps it's from the Sun, perhaps something else.

All I know for sure is that butterflies return violently when he begins to move his face closer to mine. Then his lips are on mine and his hand holds my face. I'm swimming in warmth when he pulls away and runs a hand through his hair.

"What was that for?"

"Just felt like if hasn't been done in a long time. Also, you look beautiful. Also, you don't expect me to sit upstairs while you're down here by yourself, do you?"

"I guess not." I say and shrug.

I hide a smile with the pages of my book and hold my head down.

Minutes pass as I read and Ruel people watches. He comments on the odd LA people every once in a while. I would call him a hypocrite, but this trip is his.

"So what exactly is the plan for tomorrow?" I ask eagerly and lift the flap of my hat to see his face better. He squints at the sun and looks at me, his face looking as though he isn't quite sure himself.

"I'll be in the studio majority of the day. Would you like to join me?" He asks.

Even though I'm not sure why he would need me there or what I would do inside of a studio all day, I nod my head yes and smile when he does ask. Being in an actual recording studio is somewhat intimidating, the thought not sitting well in my stomach. A studio is not niche for a classical music artist.

Then the shock hits me again. The same shock that I felt when Ruel told me about all of this at the rock a few days ago. It's near impossible to believe that Ruel is recoding a legitimate album with a legitimate label.

He is nothing short of gifted, but only a few months ago he was a regular teenager going to school with fairly normal kids, dealing with fairly-normal-kid stuff.

But now we're in LA. And Ruel is recording his first album. And I'm here with him.

"You know I'm insanely proud of you, right? I never would have thought you'd come this far." I say seriously, turning his face towards me with a finger under his chin.

"Ouch."

"I'm being serious. You're incredible."

"Only because you give me all of my inspiration. If you weren't in my life I honestly don't know what I would be doing right now. I got good at writing when we got close. I'm convinced you're the reason behind my record deal."

"Don't sell yourself short."

"I'm not. I just think you should be placed on the same pedestal as me. We're no different."

I curse my emotions and my amygdala when I feel my eyes begin to gloss over. A few words out of him make me cry. I almost let it slip. I almost say those three words that I've been wanting to say for what feels like centuries. I want to shout them, to look him in the eyes and say them. Instead I keep my mouth shut and my words suppressed.

I turn my focus back to my book, squeezing his hand tightly.

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AN
y'all sorry this chapter is so short. also sorry to those who care that I haven't updated in like literally two months I think??? sry sry.