I opened the door to the roof and a blast of cold air hit me like a bullet. The east wind. I knew nothing was there but as the wind blew I swore I could smell the scent of blood and gun powder. He was nowhere, dead, and yet he was everywhere. The spider, Moriarty. I couldn't deny he'd succeeded in his aim: to burn me.
I walked with purpose, eyes locked on the ledge I once stood on with such fear. I was determined to be able to stand there without the all consuming terror of what was coming next. I was in control. I had to be in control...
At the edge I looked over, preparing myself. The drop was steep but that wasn't what bothered me. I couldn't. I just couldn't. All the memories of my two years undercover came flooding back. This wasn't safe I couldn't be up here.
Panicked I ran for the door heart racing and lungs fighting for the oxygen they craved. I ran past Molly and John on the stairs hearing a faint "Sherlock?" in the distance.
I don't know what made me think it would be a good idea to go home, but I needed the comfort of repetition. You don't understand what a privilege it is to just... Know. Predictability is merely another word for reassurance.
I ran home, no time for a cab. Closing the door with my hands shaking. I practically crawled up the stairs to my room and as I collapsed on the bed, I fell asleep to the sweet sound of nightmares...
YOU ARE READING
Truth be told
FanfictionA Sherlock fanfic where Sherlock is forced to talk about his two year undercover work and his true feelings and John finds out Sherlock isn't as sociopathic as he makes out (it needed to happen!) (Warning this is my first fanfic so bare with me her...
