Antisocial

Chapter 8

"Breathe Lilly. Breathe. You'll do fine."

It was Monday afternoon.
Time for tryouts.

And I was flipping out.

You'd think this wouldn't bother me, the tryouts. Like I'd try my best and whatever happens, happens. Honestly, I thought I'd be like that too. Never could I have imagined caring about something I wasn't quite fond of.

I don't know. Maybe I just really want this for Stormy. She's been such a good friend to me, her and Shayne. Maybe I want to return the favor. Regardless of how much my conscious is disagreeing with me, I think I'm going to go with that answer.

"Yeah. Just remember how we practiced and you'll do great."

Stormy and Shawn were standing by the bleachers with me trying to talk me out of a panic attack. Being the center of attention is hard for me. Always has been. Though, this time, I'm not so sure that that is the only reason I'm freaking out.

My social invisibility is comfort for me. The anxiety brought with being a cheerleader, having to be in front of a crowd and having to impress said crowd, I don't know if it'd be too much for me.

Will it be too much? Will it change who I am? Even if it doesn't, am I willing to risk it?

"Lillyana Banks, Sarah Brian, and Stormy Brown. You three are up next."

And why am I thinking about this right now?

Ugh..

"Alright Lils, you remember the steps and everything right?"

I nodded absentmindedly. Stormy was on the ground stretching while I was still on a mental rant.

"Y'all are next. I hope you're ready. I'm gonna go sit with Shayne on the bleachers. Good luck." Shawn smiled and hitched his bag up higher, walking toward the bleachers.

A redheaded girl, one I remember as a friend of Storm's...Sarah I think, jogged over to us. She smiled.

"Hey guys. Are we ready?"

I nodded and helped Stormy up from the ground.

"Hell yeah, we're ready!"

"Language, Sto." I scolded.

"C'mon Lils! Get pumped! Their asses are ours!" she fist pumped "Yeuh!!"

"Lang-"

"Yeah yeah. Language. I got it."

She smacked my butt and walked off grinning while Sarah snickered beside me.

"She's always like that before tryouts." Sarah sighed.

"She really loves this doesn't she?" I asked, more to myself than to the girl standing beside me. She must've noticed because she didn't answer.

"Next group! You're up." the coach called us out and we walked to the middle of the gym.

Stormy looked over to me and smiled.
"You'll do great, Lils. Don't freak out."

I inhaled and slowly exhaled and looked out into the small crowd. My eyes found Shayne's, who gave me a small smile and a 'thumbs up'. I smiled back, slightly now at ease. Though, I couldn't figure out why.

"Alright, girls. Show us what you got."

"Well-" I mumbled. "-here goes nothing ."

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How'd you do?

Good, I think.

Nick: You think?