* Keep away from seniors
* Keep away from juniors
* It's probably a good idea to avoid sophomores, too, since most of them seem to want revenge for what happened when they were freshmen.
* Don't ever kneel. Especially If there are big kids around.
* Never wear a dorky hat. Especially If there are big kids around.
* Don't carry your books under your arm in a crowded hall.
* Try to avoid the bus, even If it means catching a ride from a stranger with a chain saw.
* If you're friends with a girl in kindergarten, try to stay friends with her when you get older because otherwise she might forget she ever knew you, and she might get so drop-dead gorgeous you don't have the guts to remind her that you once shared a pack of peanut butter crackers.
* If you're going to break something, a nose is probably better than an arm, since it heals faster and it makes you look tough.
